Author Topic: Going to a funeral  (Read 451 times)

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Offline Kate3027

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Going to a funeral
« on: February 10, 2018, 08:49:52 PM »
Death seems to have hung around me like a shroud this week. My mum's lovely Godmother died, she lived a long and full life and died at the ripe old age of 91, but I am still very sad as she was such an extraordianry woman and I have many happy memories of her and of childhood holidays spent at her cottage near Scarborough.

Tragically, my friend's husband died of brain cancer this week too. He was 37, had a wife and a 3 year old daugher. I met this friend when we were both pregnant and i am devastated for her. I wrote her a card and sent flowers and another friend of mine (who I also met when pregnant - we were kind of a mini club) is flying with me to attend the funeral (she moved away a year ago). I want to go, I want to go and support my friend because I certainly know that funerals are not just about paying your last respects to the departed, but about supporting the living. But I am worried, I'm already trying to build up a kind of 'daddy arsenal' of tokens of my dad to keep me strong so that I don't fall apart. Does that sound silly?

The last time I went to a funeral was his funeral last September, September 27th. I still have what I wore, it's quite nice, I remember choosing it because I knew he would have said I looked nice and I wanted to do him proud. Shall I wear the same thing? I now consider it my funeral outfit in many ways. Does it really matter? Of course not. I don't have another black dress.

It's funny, I often break down in tears when I try to verbally talk about my dad, but in this I feel like I need him with me, or a part of him, to help keep me strong. My dead Knight. Sorry, I know that sounds rather macabre, I mean it in a positive way. My dad was always my champion.

The funeral will be very different to my dad's. It's in Germany for a start and there'll be no following a herse - the cremation will have already taken place before the service.

I don't really know why I'm whittling. I've booked the flights and the hotel and I'm going.

Offline Emz2014

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Re: Going to a funeral
« Reply #1 on: February 10, 2018, 10:07:51 PM »
It doesnt sound silly  :hearts:  and sometimes we need to air our thoughts, talking about them helps us make sense of them. 
I know I wear certain things/jewellery when I need more strength or courage  :hearts: xx
Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise. 
Hold on in there xx

Offline Karena

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Re: Going to a funeral
« Reply #2 on: February 11, 2018, 05:24:07 PM »
It doesn't sound silly at all.I think you will probably focus on supporting your friend and in turn your other friend will be there for you too.I recently went too a funeral for a friend's husband and knowing I had lost mine another friend had hold of my hand all the way through.
I don't know that it matters what you wear him being so young they may not want traditional black dress some people request wear something colourful  so perhaps take the same dress but a scarf or shawl colourful or black  depending on what is right for them if you dont want to ask. take both options so you can do a last minute switch if needs be.The dress is the same but it  to makes it a different outfit for a different person.