Author Topic: Introducing myself  (Read 1487 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline Deb50

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 2
  • Karma: +0/-0
Introducing myself
« on: December 20, 2018, 09:15:51 AM »
Hi everyone
This is my first post.Tomorrow is a year since my dad passed away and in January it's 3years since I lost my mum.
I just feel so lost and lonely.

Offline Emz2014

  • Administrator
  • VIP Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1904
  • Karma: +130/-0
Re: Introducing myself
« Reply #1 on: December 21, 2018, 08:49:48 AM »
Sending you a welcome hug  :hug:
A year is a hard milestone, and I know grief doesn't neatly stop then. 
This time of year is challenging too with all the relentless adverts .  Have you got family and friends nearby?
Keep talking with us xx
Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise. 
Hold on in there xx

Offline Karena

  • Administrator
  • VIP Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2132
  • Karma: +145/-0
Re: Introducing myself
« Reply #2 on: December 21, 2018, 10:59:59 AM »
 :hug: this is a really hard time of year which doesnt help - as Emz says keep talking and dont give yourself a hard time - a year is when people think youre fine, the reality is different for most of us.

Offline Sandra61

  • Administrator
  • VIP Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 579
  • Karma: +62/-0
Re: Introducing myself
« Reply #3 on: December 22, 2018, 10:59:20 AM »
Hi Deb,

I know how you feel. I lost my mum in October 2017 and my dad in October 1985, so the anniversaries are close together and so this is a hard time of year for me too and it doesn't help if you are on your own. Lost and lonely? Yes, and no doubt miserable too. Christmas does tend to feel like a celebration going on around you that you are left out of now, I know. Still, try to make the best of it. Last year, I got a tree and decorated it and found it useful to sit with just the tree lights on in the evenings and use that as a quiet time to remember my mum and dad and all the great times we had together.

Also, there are lots of things going on on Boxing Day at least, so it might be good to get out then and do something fun. I plan to go to a dance with one of my new friends. It's only an hour long, but it's something to look forward to at least. Perhaps you could plan a trip out with a friend or with someone else who will be on their own otherwise.

If your parents are buried at a cemery, I also found it really nice to go and visit the grave on Christmas day. I know that sounds odd, but really, it seems everyone does it on Christmas Day. I have never seen the cemetary so busy or full of lovely flowers! It's like an explosion of love and inclusion and remembrance that you can actually see and take comfort and jou from!

Try putting some flowers around the house too. I find that cheers me up. If you need a chat, we're all here and happy to talk. You could always try the daily live chat on this site too. It happens each evening and can take you out of yourself a bit.

Sending hugs...

Offline Emz2014

  • Administrator
  • VIP Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1904
  • Karma: +130/-0
Re: Introducing myself
« Reply #4 on: December 22, 2018, 02:23:44 PM »
I took flowers to my dad today and was amazed to catch a glimpse of some wild otters at the side/in the pond at the crem. Such a beautiful unexpected sight
I also bought myself some roses to brighten my living room too.  A little thing which does help  :hearts: xx
Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise. 
Hold on in there xx

Offline Deb50

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 2
  • Karma: +0/-0
Re: Introducing myself
« Reply #5 on: December 23, 2018, 10:51:43 AM »
Thankyou for support and advice. I went  for a family meal yesterday in a pub my mum and dad used to go to.I also brought some roses to put next to there picture.
Feeling a lot better today.

Offline Sandra61

  • Administrator
  • VIP Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 579
  • Karma: +62/-0
Re: Introducing myself
« Reply #6 on: December 24, 2018, 10:58:51 AM »
So glad! Try and have a good Christmas. All best wishes!

Offline Kes1968

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 186
  • Karma: +3/-1
Re: Introducing myself
« Reply #7 on: December 26, 2018, 06:17:22 PM »
hi all.
part of me wants to go to the crematorium where my parent's ashes were scattered as they have some beautiful gardens there, but it's difficult to get to as I don't drive and I don't want to bother any of my friends. I might just go for a walk somewhere, im not sure, its not the anniversary of their deaths just my first Christmas without them. Hope everyone's ok, this time is tough xxx