Introducing me

[Hubby]

Hello all.

How much do I wish I wasn't on this forum? How much do I wish I wasn't searching for bereavement help on an Easter Monday?

Its eight days since I lost my wife, the  mother of my kids, my best friend, my soulmate. I'm totally lost and every day seems worse than the last. I really cannot see any way forward from here.

I've spent the entire day bursting into tears at the drop of a hat.

I know people say it gets easier with time but I can't see that from where I am now

[pennyking]

So very sorry for your loss.  This weekend must of been very difficult for you.  Sending hugs.  Keep talking to us. 
Penny x

[Hubby]

Thanks for the reply.

Last week was all a bit of a daze. It seems like I am just coming out of the fog into my worst nightmare. Easter is a time for families. Mine has been torn apart.

Sorry for being so negative but everything is so raw.

 

[longedge]

My heartfelt sympathy to you. The first few weeks after my wife died last October were nothing but a blur to me. It's so hard to take it in but what people say is true. Give yourself time and keep talking - and crying.

[pennyking]

You don't need to say sorry.  You have every right to be negative your world has been torn apart.   Just take your time. 
Penny x

[Cairo]

Everyone feels negative when they lose a loved one. It's perfectly natural. Unfortunately there is nothing you can do to avoid the pain. You must live through it, taking one day at a time, until it begins to ease a little some of the time. As others have said, keep talking and crying. Xxx

[Joann]

Hubby, I am so very sorry to read about your loss. Dont be hard on yourself, 8 days is a blink of an eye. Your whole world has changed! I hope you find the support you need on here. I have found it very helpful to be part of something where you can be completely honest about how you feel.

[Emz2014]

  sending a welcome hug
The initial days and weeks are really raw.  People here understand the pain and the emotions, take things slowly, one little step at a time.  Its a rollercoaster but it will get easier to cope xx

[Hubby]

Thanks for all the messages of support.

I am trying to take comfort from them but everything is so hard at the moment. So many things to deal with when I don't really feel up to dealing with anything. The mornings are the worst. Waking early and then realising what has happened is like losing her all over again. Trying to get back to sleep with so many thoughts bouncing round my head.

Busy day tomorrow with funeral arrangements. Never in my worst nightmares did I think I would have to do this. It was meant to be me first, surrounded by my family in a candle lit room while my wife mopped my brow like some kind of Renaissance painting.

[Emz2014]

In the early days there is not much which can be said to make things feel any better.  Even being told that it will get easier to cope in time may smart or sting.  The pain feels physical, and there is a surprising amount of things we have to do (arrangements etc)

Just take it slowly, one little step at a time, and be kind/gentle to yourself.  Keep talking, it helps.  Even if its a rant, whatever you need.  I promise it does become easier to cope xx

[Norma]

Im not going to tell you it will get better in time because i dont believe it does, but it does get easier to bear, but just at the moment your head will be all over the place. I couldnt cope with all the paperwork that had to be done, couldnt make a phone call withput blubbering down the phone to the poor person on the other end who hadnt a clue how to console me, eventually with the help of my son we made a list and i did just one thing a day, i did cope a little better eased the pressure i felt under.

 

[Hubby]

Thanks for replies.

Looks like I'm in for a pretty long journey.

[Dave Administrator]

Thanks for replies.

Looks like I'm in for a pretty long journey.

Don't push yourself to hard H you'll drown in a sea of paperwork and formalities that need dealing with. Thank goodness most companies and services are sympathetic when dealing with you, so don't rush yourself to get everything done at once.

Baby steps and finishing one job that can be then cleared from your mind to worry about is key for you right now.

You and your children are the most important now the rest of the world can wait.

My sincere condolences H, I so feel and understand the pain your going through.

[Hubby]

Paperwork. Tell me about it. So much to sort out its overwhelming.

Fortunately my daughters have taken over that sort of thing. I can't even make a phone call at the moment. A lot of stuff is going to have to stay on the back burner until well after the funeral.

[nattylee]

Hi Hubby. I lost my Dad 3 weeks ago and my Mom lost her husband of 46 years... It is so hard and I totally get you... each day is filled with zero joy, just the huge loss... The feeling that we will never see them again. My Dad died suddenly. No time to say goodbye or a final I love you.... vanished. Like you, I feel dead, numb, my head is fuzzy, I cannot focus.

You will get through the funeral arrangements... you will get through the funeral/memorial etc. I did. I arranged the memorial and read the Eulogies and through some invisible strength I held it together for my Mom and my 12 year old son.

Now the real pain, loss and bereavement begins.... we do not want a life without him in it.... How do you continue feeling like this? I am sure you are asking the same questions......

Mornings and nights are the worst too.. yes.

I am sorry. I am in the same boat.