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Offline juliag

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Hi
« on: May 05, 2016, 09:35:46 PM »
Sitting here crying for the first time pretty much. 4 1/2 years ago I lost my husband and best friend in a car accident. We had been together for 30 yrs. Meeting at the tender age of just 14 , I was 44 when Phil died, he was 46 yrs old. Far too young for him to die or me to be left a widow. I have 3 children left at home. My youngest is 11 yrs old, he was 7 at the time of the accident. I feel I have done everything wrong. ... I jumped into relationship after relationship to try to make things normal. All of them toxic. I have been out of all relationships now for 6 months after realising the harm they were doing ....and now I comfort or stress eat instead. Outwardly I am coping, inwardly I am a mess, lurching from one problem to another. I am piling on weight and can't seem to stop. For so long I haven't cried fearing that if I started I wouldn't stop and it would scare the kids. I have no family support but do have good friends. As I write this the tears are pouring down my face. I feel that it is only just surfacing and I have a long way to go.
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Offline Emz2014

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Re: Hi
« Reply #1 on: May 05, 2016, 10:40:51 PM »
Sending a welcome hug  :hug: you will find many people here who have lost their partners,  talking about it helps  :hearts: xx
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Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise. 
Hold on in there xx

Offline Hubby

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Re: Hi
« Reply #2 on: May 05, 2016, 10:54:42 PM »
Hi juliag. Welcome to the forums.

I am sorry to hear of you losing your husband so tragically. Who can blame you for wanting to make things normal for yourself and the children. Unfortunately it sounds like you have not allowed yourself to grieve and it is catching up with you.

if you feel you cannot cry in front of the children for fear of scaring them perhaps a support group or counselling might help. A charity called CRUSE offers these services in most areas.

Wishing you strength  :hug:
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Offline sovague

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Re: Hi
« Reply #3 on: May 06, 2016, 12:41:55 PM »
How awful, my heart goes out to you. I wish I could help but i am lost myself. Have you spoken to your gp? He or she should be able to help you.
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Offline Pauline Mc

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Re: Hi
« Reply #4 on: May 06, 2016, 02:31:40 PM »
Hi Julia

I lost my partner suddenly 2 years ago this week and although it seems like you are functioning normally on the outside I understand it is still so difficult inside and when you are alone.  This site has been a great support to me, knowing you are not the only person feeling like this and able to talk honestly and openly to others.  There is also an evening chat room which you may find helpful.

Sending hugs xxx
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