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General Discussion / Re: Going backwards
« Last post by dizzylizzy on August 16, 2017, 09:37:29 AM »
Thankyou for replying. It makes me feel better knowing what I am feeling is not unusual. I read on the NHS site that after 18 months it usually is less at the forefront so I think I've been expecting it to suddenly stop hurting as much as putting pressure on myself to not feel sad anymore. Xx
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Sending a welcome hug  :hug:

Personally I found the emotions changed in intensity - the feelings would be so bad at the beginning it would feel physical pain.  I found over time, sometimes the grief was harder than other times (so, it may be despair initially, then sadness another). Gradually over time easier days come between the bad days, until there are a few more easier days between the bad and the bad is not as painful.  It can be so gradual it can be hard to notice.  Sometimes keeping a diary/journal can help - reading back over the posts you realise/notice this change in intensity. I know some members have done that here, posting each day, and on a future bad day can sometimes remind you how far you've come on the journey already and give that glimmer of hope of the light at the end of the tunnel

Our losses change us, they never leave us and we will always have times we will miss our loved ones but gradually over time we can build life back up around us again, taking our loved ones with us (in memories, stories etc)   :hug: xx
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General Discussion / Re: Going backwards
« Last post by Emz2014 on August 16, 2017, 08:28:11 AM »
I found it was a rollercoaster of emotions.  The first year was hard, sometimes feeling had taken a step forward, then two steps back.  For a while I couldn't recognise myself and the way i was reacting. The second year brought different challenges.  I think society makes us believe all will be ok after the firsts, but it takes longer than that. 
Its just over 4 years now for me, since I lost my dad suddenly just after his 59th birthday.  I can say gradually over that time it has become easier to cope.  I still get times when I feel down, anniversaries or certain memories but I also remember more happy memories too now  :hug: xx
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Hi thanks for your reply, I was hoping it was going to get easier. How do you deal with the loneliness?
A year is a long time to be lonely I hope you are coping ok too
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Hi there and welcome, sorry to hear of your husband
8 weeks is a very short time and emotions are all over the place. You are doing well if at work and coping with that
I am a year on an still feel same as you, so lonely and quiet
 :hug:
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Introduce Yourself To Us All / I lost my husband 8 weeks ago and I miss him loads.
« Last post by Jinksy on August 15, 2017, 11:05:13 PM »
Hi I'm new to this so not sure what to expect. I was married for 33 years and have helped my husband through his illness for the last 16 years. He passed away 8 weeks ago and I miss him so much but am also relieved it's over.. I'm coping during the day whilst at work but hate being at home on my own as it's so lonely  I thought it was hard when he was really ill but this is just horrible.
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General Discussion / Re: Going backwards
« Last post by dizzylizzy on August 15, 2017, 10:55:18 PM »
I've not really opened up but I have mentioned my low mood to my gp. I hide it as I feel I am a burden now, although I think my grief is showing itself in other ways - I'm crabbit, tearful and have  generally unstable moods swings. I had a contraceptive implant  fitted a two months ago and spoke to doc about getting it removed as I explained I had been struggling and feelin much more 'hormonal' since I got it. It's coming out next week and I'm sure if I still feel after that then I'll see where I'm at. Thankyou for replying and I so sorry your dad has died. It's terrible this grief. some days I just feel back at square 1 but I guess it is a process. I know I'm upset because I link my mum's death with my daughter turning 6 months. When she turns two on Friday, as well as being happy it is drumming home to me how much mum has missed. If I'm not feeling better in another month I'm going to seek counselling x
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Introduce Yourself To Us All / Re: Hello sudden loss of mum
« Last post by rawareham on August 15, 2017, 10:39:26 PM »
Yes I totally agree -since losing my dad I have left my job and started my own business so I can be even more flexible around my kids. I don't know what I would have done without them the last 18 months and just want to spend as much time with them as I can.

It sounds like our losses were quite similar-like you my dad was already 'gone' when I got to the hospital. I still struggle to believe that even 18 months later but I am grateful he didn't suffer.

How are you doing? Xx
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General Discussion / Re: Going backwards
« Last post by rawareham on August 15, 2017, 10:34:58 PM »
Hi

So sorry to hear you are having such a hard time :( I do think it's normal though :( I am 17 months on from losing my dad very suddenly. He was only 60. Sometimes I think I'm doing ok and other times I feel like I'm going mad. I just miss him so much. I have started taking anti depressants and for me personally that has helped to balance out how I am feeling. Have you told anyone else how you feel? I'm so sorry you are facing this :( xxx
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General Discussion / Going backwards
« Last post by dizzylizzy on August 15, 2017, 10:27:24 PM »
I really thought I was doing ok. Now I think I am stuck. 18 months exactly on Friday since my mum, my best friend, died quite unexpectedly- my little girl's 2nd birthday. I still can't believe I'll never see my mum. I thought I was starting to accept it. Then this week I feel demented again. The sadness inside my is still agony. Is this normal?
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