My end to a really awful week

[twenties girl]

I've had a really bad week. I'm still grieving for my mum and then my relationship ending with a cruel text, my emotions are all over the place. I'm getting confused which emotion is which. I'm waking up crying everyday. I just about got through work, barely able to talk to anyone and my job, is a job where you can't do that. The void in my life is even bigger now. Then to top my week off, a pipe burst behind my sink in my bathroom last night and water started gushing out and flooded the bathroom, it then came through the kitchen ceiling quite heavily. I managed to turn off the main water tap and it stopped. I was a bit hysterical, especially after my week. My kitchen ceiling is ruined.  I saw a post about someone talking about anti depressants and I've held of until now, but i think I'm going to have to go to the doctors to get something. Mum died in July and i just cant get out of the black hole.  Just coming on here, no one knows who you are and you can just let it all out. I think people are getting fed up with me crying all the time now.

[Badger55]

I am really sorry to hear about the loss of your mum.

Crying is part of grieving and your are bound to cry.  I hope letting it out here is helping you.

I lost my mum suddenly 37 years ago and remember feeling exactly as you do.  I had also just split up with my boyfriend.  It all hit me really hard about 6 months later and I went to see my GP then. 

I have recently lost my partner suddenly and, on the advice of friends, went to see my GP straight away.  My GP is supporting me through my grief in many ways, not just medication.  I am also receiving counselling as well.

Making an appointment with your GP sounds like a good idea and is not just about prescribing medication, but having someone with your best interests at heart supporting you.

Sending a big hug your way.

 

[Emz2014]

Seeing your dr is a good idea, like badger said they can consider what may be the best support for you at the moment

Do you have a friend you can talk to?  Losing your relationship so soon after your loss is bound to make you feel isolated. Try to ensure you dont lock yourself away from people, at this time its sometimes what we want to do, but being with people will help as they will help with support during your vulnerable time.  Even if it is popping out for an hour for a distraction, can give your mind a brief respite

And can always come here to talk too xx

[Hubby]

Sorry to hear of your bad week twenties girl. It can sometimes feel like everything is going wrong at once.

 

[Julia]

Such a familiar feeling, twenties girl,  sometimes it does feel like the whole world is against me, that everything just tries to hurt me more.. Like this stupid tlc show about wedding dresses. Is it trying to rub it in my face that I lost someone I wanted to spend the rest of my life with? I'm trying to laugh at myself when I have thoughts like that, but I do catch myself seeing hurt in so many things... Seeing couples holding hands, travelling together etc.

On the other hand, I think it's ok to feel completely miserable, lose all control, cry at work, surrender yourself to whatever you think is making your day, week, year bad. Let all that sadness and madness get the better of you, stop fighting for a while and then you will notice that you can still survive it and pick yourself up.

When I lost my love, I knew I would have to face a difficult conversation with his ex, and I was worried about work situation, as we were colleagues and nobody knew about our love story. I acted tough and thought I will be fine during the first few weeks since his death, I thought I will deal with it in silence.

Around two weeks ago I completely broke down at work, I cried so much, I couldn't say a word. At that point I told my two close colleagues that are in senior leadership positions about my relationship with my man. That's it, I thought to myself,  now I'll lose their respect, I have to look for a new job, I felt like I drank a bottle of whiskey, and everything was a complete black out....

The response I got from my colleagues and even his ex overwhelmed me. They all supported me and are still here to support me, which is far away from what my worst anxiety attacks tried to tell me. The world isn't against us, even though sometimes it helps us think way, it helps us let out our frustration on things like a leaking pipe.

It's still all surreal and I get those blackout moments, but what I've already learnt is that even the worst things you fear of won't kill you, in fact they can turn out to be positive. You will pick yourself up, fix that leaking pipe, rebuild your confidence at work, find different ways to start feeling better.

And in the meantime it's absolutely fine that things are going horribly wrong