Hi Geri, I am very new to this, and don't really know if it will help I lost my partner of 23 years on the 25 April this year, I had never spent a day apart from her except for 4 days I had to work away ,I think that every ones grief, is a very personal journey
There is no quick fix or a time limit ,no right way or no wrong way to deal with this ,But now I try to look at it from a different point of view ,if the tables were turned and it was me that had passed ,and I was able to look down and see her so sad and in so much pain
and I could not go to her and help her ,I would feel so sad ,but if I seen her smiling a little and still enjoying our love we had, and still have ,I would say that's my girl ,the one I love ,then I could rest in peace knowing she will be ok ,
I find it helps me get through my day ,as I just think this is for her I must get up ,wash, eat, and do a little of my work that I need to do until I can see a way of getting back to work fulltime ,but for now I take it one day at a time who knows,
tomorrow I might smile a little or even cry.
take care