Author Topic: Does this make sense?  (Read 1343 times)

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Offline normajane

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Does this make sense?
« on: April 21, 2018, 05:56:25 PM »
So it is a lovely day and I am looking at the greengage tree my husband bought three or four years ago.  Since then we had plenty of leaves every year, one or two blossoms but no fruit ever.  This morning it is covered in blossom, it is beautiful and I look at it and cry.  How can something so pretty and full of promise for the autumn leave me feeling so low.  I have really struggled all day and now I just want to pull the bedclothes over my head and cry.

Offline Emz2014

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Re: Does this make sense?
« Reply #1 on: April 22, 2018, 07:43:09 PM »
I remember conflicted feelings when seeing a beautiful sunset on the anniversary day whilst feeling emotions of loss too. Sometimes to me it feels like nature is trying to show us things to build hope in us.  :hearts:
Sending a hug,  it takes time xx
Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise. 
Hold on in there xx

Offline Twinkle

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Re: Does this make sense?
« Reply #2 on: April 26, 2018, 06:16:06 PM »
I totally agree, nature seems to try and show you the circle of life, sometimes it hurts sometimes it gives you hope, Mum died in August, as Autumn, then winter came I survived, but as spring came round, the plants I had taken from Mums, the bulbs I had planted in her memory, as they began to come up  I cried an awful lot and sometimes amongst that I would have a brief smile, as I appreciated how much she would have loved them, and how somehow I had kept them going x

Offline Karena

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Re: Does this make sense?
« Reply #3 on: April 27, 2018, 01:14:29 PM »
  :hug:yes i think it is normal -it re-enforces our loss when we see something which is their loss too, something which we should have shared the joy of, that leaves you standing feeling even more alone.

But i do also think nature has a healing property, and over the years the things which bring tears also bring Joy.
My husband died from a second stroke the first had left him with mobility and vision difficultys. After a hard winter he was looking forward to spring and every morning he would ask me if the daffodils he planted in the rockery had come out yet. Sadly he didnt live to see that happen and when it did happen so very soon after it hurt so much -but it also gave me an idea and since then i have planted (wild natural) dafffodils at all our favourite spots -Because other people have had terrible winters and daffodills do herald spring and a hope of better things to come, so even though they came too late that year for him if his legacy is to bring spring too others who need that hope,  he would have liked to do that.

I had to move so those originals ones i could manage to dig up from the rockery came with me - they are now in a planter, with a poem on a plaque on it, along with other of his favourite plants -so there is always something he liked blooming for him.

 The daffodils that brought me pain then, bring a smile now when i step out of the door they are right there giving me that message .

 You cant so easilly plant green gauges round the country but you could make that tree the centre of a memorial garden -maybe somewhere to sit and  be reminded of the good time in your lives together and of the happiness of that life - because  the pain and  the sadness the end of a life brings  isnt about a whole life, and i think all of us  want our loved ones to remember us for the joy we brought them rather than the sorrow of our loss.