Author Topic: New member  (Read 1712 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline Katie

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 2
  • Karma: +2/-0
New member
« on: June 24, 2017, 04:38:53 PM »
Hello my name is Katie. I tried to post on here yesterday and got in a muddle so had to ask Dave Administrator to help me. Thank you Dave.  I don't know if anyone saw my message but I found this site and so desperately wanted some help.  I lost my wonderful Adie 5 march he had cancer but always remained so positive. He caught pneumonia and went into hospital but even then he said he was going to get better and come home and despite whar doctors were saying I didn't really grasp what was happening. We were married 27 years he was my soulmate and best friend. I am struggling so much, so lonely and my whole world has collapsed. Family are supportive but they have their own lives and are grieving themselves. We lived for each other and were together 24/7. We were so happy. I get awful panic attacks and shake all over. Has anyone else had that? Adie was only 65 and I am 57. I realise I have to find work but am so lost how can I ever live my life without him?

Offline Dave Administrator

  • Dave
  • Administrator
  • VIP Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 451
  • Karma: +26/-0
  • Gender: Male
    • BUK Founder
Re: New member
« Reply #1 on: June 24, 2017, 06:28:57 PM »
Hi Katie, so pleased you managed your first post here, it just takes a little getting used to then will be so easy once you become familiar with how things work.

27 years is a real long time to spend with anyone, and to suddenly loose that person comes as a great shock with disbelief it could have ever happened to you.

 I hope when others in a similar position to what your in now will support you here, but let me tell you even just writing down the most inner and bottled up emotions and thoughts that drive you crazy can help with your healing big time.

Some members of past made diaries here to talk to their loved ones kind of a newsy and also love letter, which they then told the group how much this helped them in the early days just like it is for you right now.

I wish you great strength to make it through your journey Katie, and I promise you with all my heart you will get peace return back into your life one day, it just takes little baby steps to get there.
Take care and please keep posting however small or large you can manage, we need them.

Offline Emz2014

  • Administrator
  • VIP Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1904
  • Karma: +130/-0
Re: New member
« Reply #2 on: June 25, 2017, 06:33:18 PM »
Sending a welcome hug katie  :hug:
It is all very overwhelming and understandable that it can cause panic attacks.  Simple breathing exercises can help ease a panic attack, I have found a polo mint can help avoid them sometimes (a distraction)
Hope you find it helps being here xx
Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise. 
Hold on in there xx

Offline Karena

  • Administrator
  • VIP Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2132
  • Karma: +145/-0
Re: New member
« Reply #3 on: June 25, 2017, 06:54:04 PM »
Hi Kate.I lost my husband 6 years ago.Coming here was a great help because as Dave said writing is therapeutic,also I,m sure others have found too that as time moves on and you feel like you're moving backwards,re reading posts from earlier times helps you realise that you are coping better than you think.Also because people here do understand how difficukt this journey is so we support each other.
Shaking and panic attacks are not unusual.But might be worth having a word with your GP if they continue.In a way I was lucky I was working so didn't have to find a new job,but I did have to move house.Its really difficult when your world has caved in to then also have to make more major changes in your life.
Over time I have learned to cope,I never thought I would though.The acute pain of the early days fades but the ache never really goes away,we build around the gap they leave in our lives but the gap remains.