Author Topic: New to group  (Read 2238 times)

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Offline Debbie1980

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New to group
« on: July 03, 2017, 09:49:16 AM »
Hi I'm Debbie and I lost my dad in December 2016.  Felt I wascoping well but just before father's Day it hit me like a tonne of bricks that he wasn't here anymore.  His birthday is also coming up towards the end of July and that is going to be difficult too I suspect.

Offline Dave Administrator

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Re: New to group
« Reply #1 on: July 03, 2017, 03:24:24 PM »
Hi Debbie.

These first anniversaries are a tough one to deal with through a bereavement journey, and the lead up I can promise you is in most cases worse than the actual day itself.

Don't think though Debbie because he's not physically around you on his birthday you can't still do something nice for him. Planning this, getting ideas, does take away that total feeling of sadness that you can know longer write him a card because you can still.

 As heartbreaking as it is to do, a true feeling good will bring a warmth to you achieving that, and knowing he is looking down on you his beloved daughter, he will certainly be looking down smiling at what you've done for him out of pure love on his special day. :-)
Take care and please keep posting however small or large you can manage, we need them.

Offline Emz2014

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Re: New to group
« Reply #2 on: July 03, 2017, 04:20:11 PM »
Sending a welcome hug Debbie  :hug:  xx
Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise. 
Hold on in there xx

Offline WOODY

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Re: New to group
« Reply #3 on: July 03, 2017, 04:27:07 PM »
Hi Debbie,
I am new here myself, my Wife passed away in December 2016. This first year of Birthdays and anniversaries, is going to be very hard for us, I am dreading it, it's our wedding anniversary in August and Janices birthday in September.
I can't really advise you what to do, or how to get through it, as I am at the same stage, but , since being here, I have found help and wonderful support and believe it or not , laughter, from some stories in posts here, I have not been able to laugh since Janice went.

All I can say is celebrate your Dads birthday, make it a special day, and remember, there is always someone here for you.
My thoughts and prayers are with you

Offline Debbie1980

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Re: New to group
« Reply #4 on: July 03, 2017, 04:41:10 PM »
Thank you all.  I know it will be difficult but hopefully the new medication and the counselling will get me through and of course all you lovely people on here.  It has helped a lot talking about it with others going through the same and to know that I'm not alone xx

Offline Karena

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Re: New to group
« Reply #5 on: July 03, 2017, 07:29:53 PM »
 :hug:I found coming here was a great help.I agree doing something to mark the day is a good idea and easier in the end than trying to carry on as though it isn't happening.I planted wild daffodils on my husbands first birthday and they bloomed in time for the anniversary of his death.I also have a planter in the garden with a memorial plaque on not like a grave one but a short poem.There is always something growing in it.
When i lost my mum i created a bird feeding area because she loved watching the birds,But you will have your own thing that is special too you with your dad.