First day in real world again

[Scared1]

Yes EE really up'ed their game recently ! ... Ah that's lovely what your friend got you , hope you enjoyed the film this evening  xxxxxxx

[Twinkle]

Thanks, yes did get quite into it. It was the Goblet of Fire, so you are a couple ahead of me... woke this morning with chest pains and a wheezy chest, nothing serious I have just had a bad cold, but my mind cares more about that night when Mum said to me I have chest pains, I said it's indigestion..... breaks my heart, does anyone have these constant association's.?

[Scared1]

Yes that's right , I have seen them all before but I can never get enough of Harry potter! ....So sorry you woke up feeling unwell,  really hope you feel better soon . It's completely understandable it would make you think of your mum's chest pains . Virtually every thing I do / see / hear relates back to memories that make me sad xxxxxx

[Twinkle]

Well thank God, I feel I am really weird, I dare not tell anyone else they either don't care or can't handle me saying it, thank you yet again....

On another note is anyone else getting fed up being told have a happy new year, hope next year is better for you... I know they are trying to help, but it's like so am I going to wake up tomorrow feeling suddenly happy and ready to start new year, or is it just me being touchy....

[Scared1]

No definitely no need to feel weird  and Yes i find unless someone is going through a very painful bereavement they don't really understand. 
With the happy new year thing , I think maybe people say it automatically to everyone at this time of year  without really thinking about what it means to someone going through such sadness xxxx

[Twinkle]

Yes I think you are right people say it without thinking, to be honest thinking back I think I was a bit more sensitive to people, but there you go, I guess am just trying to find some one to blame, as tonight and all today, like many of us, am alone and really upset...

[Scared1]

Yes I'm  feeling really upset too , trying to get in to things on tv but can't concentrate right now . Think some wine may be needed x

[Karena]

Twinkle. Where i used to live we had lots of snowdrops and daffodils.When my husband had his first stroke he krpt sending me out to see if the daffodils had come out yet.Sadly he never got to see them again but daffodils came out and i did.the garden also became my sanctuary.I couldnt afford the rent on my own and so had to move leaving my home my village and community but most painful leaving the garden we had built and loved together.The first thing i did was recreate the garden in the new place.It is smaller but it has all the things we used to have including  pond and daffodils.What i learned though was that permanancy is not something we can count on and losing a loved one triggers many changes.one of those is our relationships with others.There was nothing i could do about thagt but some things can be recreated.Daffodils became my signature.I bought native daffodills and planted them down by the river.Then i bought more and planted them in our favourite places.It took some coursge to go back too those places alone but having that incentive helped me overcome the pain and do itIf i move again there will always be daffodils in those places .Those places are still my favourites and i still go back to see thosr daffodils.But daffodils anywhere still catch my eye and bring me pleasure.If you have to move the ones you planted may bring solace to someone else too.You can plant more and you can take the bench and create a new sanctuary.Just as new daffodils grow new people will come into your life who do offer you that solace.

[Twinkle]

Thank you Karen's, I am so sorry that as well as losing your husband you lost everything too, it must have been so hard,,  you are right, the daffodils and snowdrops that Mum and Dad loved can be anywhere, and even if I have to move others will come and enjoy the ones I have planted. And like you say the bench and memories will still be there. Thank you

Scared 1 like you the wi e has come out and with a bit of luck soon will not be hurting so much, ....