New here

[Eliz]

Hi my name is Elizabeth my husband died in feb 2017 from lymphoma after a long battle of 14 years we were married for 65 years and I am now totally lost without him

[Emz2014]

Sending you a welcome hug  xx

[Karena]

 :hug:welcome too the forum -i also lost my husband although not after so long together, but i do understand that feeling of being lost.Finding this place writing down my feelings and finding friends here who were also on the grief journey did help a great deal though.Almost seven years have passed i still miss him constantly i always will but i am not quite as lost as i was.

They leave a great big gaping hole that can never be filled.but you can gradually start to build a life around the edges of it.

[Eliz]

Thank you for your welcome  I do hope this forum will help I feel so alone frightened, I just feel as though I can not take any more 16 years ago our son died suddenly then in 2016 my son in law died of throat cancer my daughter is falling apart and I don’t seem to be able to help her 6 months later my husband died I am in a very dark place and don’t seem to be able to get out. I can’t sleep, can’t eat ,can’t think straight,when does this hurt ever end

[Karena]

It must be so difficult watching your daughter fall apart while doing the same yourself.I wish I could answer your question but no one can. Had to move house and go back to work too and for a few months when I wasn't in anguish I was in a trance on autopilot trying to get it all done.Bt one day I was working in the new garden and suddenly I could feel the sun on my back and this little Robin was singing so loudly I couldn't ignore it and for a few moments I felt happy.It didn't last long and the black clouds soon descended again but that moment gave me hope and the knowledge that those moments can happen again and get longer so one day I might escape the black clouds and that's what I started building on.Theyre still chasing me but I just keep on collecting those moments and when they catch up I know I can get in front again.I am not the same person I was but I have learned to live with who I have become.More anxious prone to depression less confident but also in some ways more adventurous because I have to do things on my own now but  have learned I can  do them and because I want to live my life for us both I have done things I maybe wouldn't have before.For example I always wanted to surf but wouldn't consider a wet suit but now I know what's important isn't what people might think about the way you look or that something is just for the young.whats important is just doing it anyway so I have.