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Introduce Yourself To Us All / Re: New member
« Last post by Emz2014 on July 15, 2018, 08:58:33 PM »
Sending you a welcome hug  :hug: xx
Please Post In This Bereavement Support Posting Room / Re: 2 weeks
« Last post by dizzylizzy on July 15, 2018, 03:52:28 PM »
I am so, so sorry for your loss. Many people simply wonít know what to say - or how to reach out. Post on here when every you need to. You will fine not alone although grief is indeeed a lovely time. ❤️
Introduce Yourself To Us All / New member
« Last post by Frances on July 15, 2018, 01:35:22 AM »
I have now been a widow for 18 months. I was 18 when I met my husband and we were married when I was 21. I was 52 when he died in January 2017. He was 59 and had retired in the September before. The plan was that he would sort the house out then I would retire at 55 with him and we would finally travel and enjoy life. We had children and parents to care for over many years, so were truly looking forward to some time for us.
I left my husband sleeping peacefully as I went to work . We had booked a holiday he was looking forward to. We had started walking more together to get fitter. I came home and he was in the bathroom.I waited for him as I wanted to suggest going for a walk. He shouted out my name at around 3.45. Said he couldn't breathe. I called an ambulance. By 5pm he had died. 3 ambulances of all levels of expertise came but to no avail. By 5pm he had gone. Traumatic. Recently I was sympathised with for what I had gone through.  But to me it hasn't stopped. I'm still going through losing my planned future and the man I loved. I have healthily grieved the loss of my husband but cannot come to terms with the loss of my planned future. I miss him so much and don't know how to move on. I still feel married to him so don't want a new partner, but I do need to meet new friends. All of my friends are in couples so difficult to continue to see regularly. I still cannot talk about what happened without crying but I know I need to move on. Looking for friendship with those who can relate to my experience.
 :undecided: Hi Sally, first post here for me haven't even introduced myself to the forum yet but have been reading people's accounts of their loved ones for about 11 months now and have not felt it necessary to actually sign up to the site that is until I read your predicament which as you describe so accurately as being a Nightmare that it is my soulmate Sue was also killed in a Road crash by a van driver out of his head on Cocaine then she was airlifted to Kings College Hospital in London I was sped down the hospital from Wateringbury in Kent only to be told on arrival that she'd died this all occured on August 20th 2017 we had been together for 41yrs and married for 34yrs so I'm definitely aware of what you're going through at the moment and how to even consider moving on seems momentous emotionally and well Is! People will say you can do whatever you want now but as we are both aware that's exactly what we were doing with the one we loved BTW last month I turned 63 so as for starting again 😂 not going to happen my point being when you're younger you have dreams and aspirations whoops I'm off on one sorry Sally I'm supposed to be making you feel better 😊 Anyway it gets a little easier over time so hang in there one thing that helped me was how lucky I'd been to experience such Love with Sue as you have had with your husband and how now that I look around and see things from another perspective a lot of people have never had that including my Son now 34yrs and still in search of as he puts it what you and Mum had Right that's it could go on forever I could Sally just letting you know you're not alone and I'll keep an eye out for your posts because this site helped me more than I thought it would so keep visiting and my punctuation throughout is horrendous but guess what I don't care  have a Big Hug Sally
General Discussion / Re: Ruth's Palm Tree
« Last post by Kes1968 on July 14, 2018, 04:45:35 PM »
Wow I love the deer and even the motorcycle, thatís great that you have found something to focus on, keeping busy does help doesnít it, you clearly have a gift with the wood turning/ carving. Mum loved her statues and would have had dozens more if dad would have let her!! 😂😂
Introduce Yourself To Us All / Re: Struggling
« Last post by Kes1968 on July 14, 2018, 04:41:03 PM »
 :cray:Iíve also saved a fair bit of money as Iíve moved down two council tax brands AND I donít have the bus fares to find, hopefully my bills will be lower as well, as itís a much smaller property to heat etc,
Introduce Yourself To Us All / Re: Struggling
« Last post by Emz2014 on July 14, 2018, 04:09:16 PM »
That sounds really lovely - especially the reduced commute! Too much time is wasted on commuting!  :hearts: xx
General Discussion / Re: Ruth's Palm Tree
« Last post by The Laird Of Galloway, Scotland on July 14, 2018, 02:14:14 PM »
I didn't know they flowered either, Ruth did but thought it wouldn't this far North which is why its particularly sad when it has and she missed it. The raised bed where the tree is is very overgrown at the moment and as soon as i can walk without my sodding crutches i will have a go and tidying it up but the garden is a lot of work but worth it in the end. Don't mention statues as i keep seeing loads at the garden centre and seem to think I NEED some of them lol....if i make it a memorial garden for Ruth that's an excuse to have statues of her favourite wildlife etc...I have Gargoyles already.
Glad you like the Intarsias, They are made from solid pieces of different woods that you basically cut and carve the shapes and then glue them all back together to create one big item. I use lots of hardwoods from recycled tables etc from Charity shops so i help them raise money by buying stuff they would normally throw away if its damaged etc but i pas the wood through my planer/thicknesser and the wood is now like brand new ready to be made into critters. some of them take a couple of months to make but it keeps my brain cell ticking over lol. I am useless at everything else but I have always loved woodcarving etc.
I have attached a couple of photos, the Deer are life sized and the Norton motorcycle is around 3ft and all made from Oak/Mahogany/Beech/Sycamore/Iroko etc.
They help me think about other things and since losing Ruth its really helping me cope.
General Discussion / Re: Ruth's Palm Tree
« Last post by Kes1968 on July 14, 2018, 09:28:58 AM »
Not a great photo by a long way BUT this is Ruth's Palm Tree which She grew for 20 years and for the very first time it has flowers!  She didn't live to see it.....She would have been so happy to finally see it flower. The gardens a bit overgrown in places but I will try and keep it tidy as much as i can do, already got someone to keep the lawns trimmed. Oh how I wish Ruth could see it even if its just a few seconds

RIP  Ruthie xx

I never knew that they flowered, how lovely 😊 and what a lovely way to remember her by.
I have to confess I donít miss my old large overgrown garden, but if you can keep on top of it, itís not so bad. Iíve got stone chips, three little terraces where Iíve put mumís favourite statues ( a boy and a girl standing and a girl seated, and two little stone dogs) but Iíd like to get a stone bird bath, one of the flat style, you know the ones I mean, like overgrown stone saucers, as I left the two bird baths ( pedestal style) in the old garden, I love birds, as did mum , so Iím hunting around for the bird bath, love reading about the 🦉 owl and the fox stealing your boot !!  I love the intarsias as well, pardon my ignorance but what is an intarsia? Sorry, they are lovely though xx
Introduce Yourself To Us All / Re: Struggling
« Last post by Kes1968 on July 14, 2018, 09:20:56 AM »

Moved into my new home on 28th June, itís a lovely little house, the same one I posted about and it needs very little doing to it, I had a new loft hatch and ladder installed and the latch on the side gate fixed but thatís about it, just surrounded by boxes of stuff at the moment, Iíve got Cornwall hospice care (charity shop) coming to take loads of stuff away on Tuesday next week so hopefully I can get rid of most of the boxes downstairs!! Then I can start the spare room ( mine is done already) . Itís so convenient being near everything, ten minutes walk to work ( instead of 2 hours commute on bus each way!!😱😱) and loads of buses, every ten minutes into town. My house backs onto a nature reserve, itís so quiet , away from main road and traffic! Bliss !! Iíve ha couple of moments obviously where I became all nostalgic for the old house but I know Iíve made the best decision for me, Iím very happy in my new home 🏠❤️❤️
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