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Please Post In This Bereavement Support Posting Room / Re: Birthday
« Last post by Karena on Today at 12:04:17 PM »
 :hug: I think you do take things on board more and also maybe become ever sensative to what people say. I was in a shop one day and two women were having a good old moan about their husbands, getting in their way when they wanted to be shopping -i left in tears, but realised after they didnt know me from Adam,and they werne actually saying anything i might not have said myself when Keith was alive, its just that things become much more personal when we are vulnerable.
when its some-one we know - a comment perhaps meant to help, becomes a personal criticism  in our perception,  which enlarges and festers if we let it.
You are surviving -you are stronger than you were a few weeks ago and you will continue to become more so -but it takes time and other people being impatient can make you think you are weaker than you are  -that there is something wrong with you -when really there isnt.
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Introduce Yourself To Us All / Re: The recent loss of my Wife.
« Last post by Karena on Today at 11:50:39 AM »
Welcome Stephen.
I lost my husband 7 years ago and Emz is right Februry is very early days.Bereavement counselling helped me so hopefully it will you too,and its refreshing to hear friends and familly are saying take a day at a time as often they dont understand and make some very unhelpful comments instead, they are right,and it is a roller coaster of a journey -sometimes you find the carriage feels like its rolling back down the hill you just climbed, but the drops are not so steep and it happens less further along the way.
I did find being here a life-saver -not just somwhere to talk (write) about your grief -but also as a kind of extended familly -we are all strangers with one thing in common when we come here,and we support each other, but we also find there are other things in common, and the world feels just a little less lonely, -which is why we have an everyday chat section -because sometimes what we miss, as well as the big stuff of course, is the moments we would turn to say something -tell some-one what happened at work whats for tea, what film you saw and when no one is there that increases the hurt and solitude.
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Double glazing for bluetits -you spoil them Brian.Crows are very clever - i got a ground feeder a few years back with a steel grid top  so the bigger birds couldnt get in and steal all the food. It was quite heavy and pegged down -then i watched on morning as one pulled out the pegs and he and his mates lifted on side until it toppled over.
In the end keith came up with something they didnt like -a round plastic tray on a broom handle pole -when they landed on it the movement and the noise it made frightened them. :rofl:
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Glad ya like em Karen  :smiley:  That's a good idea for the lampshade......very posh bird table indeed, need to make some more nesting boxes this year but I have already got Bluetits going in the one opposite my armchair so I can keep an eye on them while using the computer....I made one a few years ago with a mini double glazed window (frosted) and a small camera in which was successful BUT the crows nicked my camera lol they pulled it off the box  :smiley:.
cheers
Brian
ps Emz  I still haven't seen much of that shiny thing in the sky? are you sure it wasn't a lamppost ?  :wink:  later this month they reckon the shooting stars will be whizzing past again so worth keeping an eye out for :smiley:
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Introduce Yourself To Us All / Re: Hi. Iím new today too
« Last post by Emz2014 on April 19, 2018, 10:41:55 PM »
Sending you a welcome hug Lynn  :hug:  its a slow rollercoaster journey, hope you find the forum a source of support xx
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Introduce Yourself To Us All / Re: The recent loss of my Wife.
« Last post by Emz2014 on April 19, 2018, 10:40:46 PM »
Sending a welcome hug  :hug:
We have quite a few members here who have lost their partners and I'm sure will be able to share their support. February is very early days, i hope you find the forum a support on this rollercoaster journey xx
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Please Post In This Bereavement Support Posting Room / Re: Birthday
« Last post by Twinkle on April 19, 2018, 06:44:37 PM »
Karena, that was a phase my Dad always used to say, walk a mile in my shoes and then judge me... trouble is when you are so so vulnerable you take everything on board don't you...

I am surviving. But only just....
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General Discussion / Re: Do you believe in the afterlife?
« Last post by Doug on April 19, 2018, 01:26:11 PM »
Thanks for that Tony
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Introduce Yourself To Us All / Re: Hi. Iím new today too
« Last post by lynn2 on April 19, 2018, 01:05:33 PM »
I lost my partner eight weeks ago today.  Although he had been ill for a few months and we knew it was terminal he still died suddenly and unexpectedly, so much sooner than we'd thought.  It is harder now than in the earlier weeks.
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Please Post In This Bereavement Support Posting Room / Re: Birthday
« Last post by Karena on April 19, 2018, 12:27:28 PM »
 :hug: -you are not weak -you are surviving and that alone takes huge strength.He isnt in your shoes,he cannot understand what it is like to walk in them.
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