:hug:There is no rush or hurry to part with things -I had to move house and packed my husbands things up then hung his dressing gown on the bedroom door in the new house -that way i could pretend he was working away and would be back. It sounds mad now and i knew he wasnt then -but the illusion got me through the move. Its been 7 years now -and his dressing gown is still on a hook at the back of the door.I found,over time different things start to have more-or less meaning than others and parting with some things becomes less painful -others i have kept and probably always will, but only you will know when the time is right if thats 6 months,6 years,or never.
Returning to work -even though it feels meaningless, and doing things "normal" sparks guilt along with so many other things all the what ifs, but it does at least add structure too the day and fill some of those endless hours.Its a long journey trying to find a new "normal" trying to redefine who we are and what are roles are,
My daughters had left home,you are still always a mother, but its less of a dominant role as they get older, youre still always a worker. But filling that time that they left is difficult, doing so is not the same as leaving them behind.Try to think more in the way of carrying them forward with you just in a different way.
I imagined a conversation, if there was ever such a thing as meeting in an afterlife, and how short that conversation would be if i just stopped doing anything,
but how much longer and more vibrant it would be if I had gone back to the places we both loved to get updates, done things we talked about doing, and new things too.It might look like normal too people who dont know, but i,m doing it so i can be the eyes on the world as a kind of tribute too him.
Writing too him is something i also found helpful -some days it was heartbreaking stuff others much more general but it did at least provide an oulet -as did this site.
