Author Topic: New Member  (Read 1690 times)

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Offline Bunker

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New Member
« on: October 13, 2017, 03:03:23 PM »
Hi my name is Geoff. I am 65 years old and have been a widower since January 2016. I am still struggling with grief and I found out about this site after purchasing the Rio Ferdinand book Being Mom & Dad. Even though older than Rio and different circumstances. Some of the things stated in the book I recognised. I.E. putting on a plastic smile. How many times have I been told how well I have coped. I do not feel as if I have. I was married for 32 years to Dianne. I miss her terribly. We had such a wonderful life together. An example of how I feel now is summed by what happened this week I went out with a couple of friends for a drink on Tuesday evening. We lived close by each other in Solihull before My wife and myself decided to downsize house and move to live in Broadway  in the Cotswolds this was in 2012. Every so often I stay over at my sisters in Birmingham and occasionally meet back up with these friends. They are making arrangements for meeting up in December for a night out. This will be with Wives and partners they are saying for me to come along how it will be a good evening. I just do not want to be with couples when i am on my own. I was recently at the wedding of a friends son and a couple of weeks after it a friend of mine said to me she could see in my eyes I did not really want to be there as a single person.
Well I will sign off now There is more that I want to talk over but this will do for now.

Offline Gingey

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Re: New Member
« Reply #1 on: October 13, 2017, 06:20:15 PM »
Hi Geoff and welcome
I lost my beloved husband of 40 years july 16 and almost every day since had been a struggle. I miss him terribly and am finding it very difficult to adjust and axcept being on my own.
I know how you feel about the couples situation, I have been away for 2 nights with my sister and brother in law and it just feels awkward...I have been away with same sister once and it was better...though it is never the same as when I come home, there is nobody here. I feel like this every time I am out even with female friends.
Plastic smile is a good description
Good to know others feel the same
 :hug:

Offline Emz2014

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Re: New Member
« Reply #2 on: October 14, 2017, 09:59:24 AM »
Sending a welcome hug to you Geoff  :hug:
It's often a surprise to us when we are still finding it challenging in the 2nd or even 3rd year, but totally normal.  We quickly stop registering how far we have come, how much we have overcome and achieved - have made it through the utterly raw months, adapting to different circumstances
Hope you stay with us and talk more.  I found it helped me to talk and there is always a friendly ear here xx
Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise. 
Hold on in there xx