Author Topic: Struggling  (Read 3818 times)

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Offline Kes1968

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Struggling
« on: December 05, 2018, 11:14:53 AM »
Just feeling very low again, wondering at the wisdom of getting Max though the thought of surrendering him for rehoming i also can’t think about,although as awful as it sounds I have thought about it, 😢😢😢 lack of sleep, house is a mess, just feeling very low, isolated and ashamed that I feel this way. I’m sure it will get easier as he grows, has his jabs and can socialise, I’ll have a chat with the vet on Sunday when he’s having his jabs . I feel ashamed for even considering giving him up but I just want what is best for him in the long run but I can’t bring myself to do anything about it. Please don’t judge me too harshly, I’m feeling bad enough as it is
« Last Edit: December 05, 2018, 11:34:14 AM by Kes1968 »

Offline Karena

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Re: Struggling
« Reply #1 on: December 05, 2018, 11:58:23 AM »
 :hug: it wont be long before max can go out and start exploring and being out -especially as the year turns and we start looking towards spring will help lift your mood - and forget about waiting for the metrological official spring - the new year begins on January first in my book and thats when you start seeing the early signs when you look more closely. Once that bundle of cuteness is on a lead you will find people approach you to fuss him  or even just smile when they see him which passes on some light into their day -  its all positive social interaction to help build your confidence back up. 
- you seem very nervous about him but  i think you maybe have such low self esteem right now that you feel you are not good for Max when in reality you couldnt be doing any more for him - he could have ended up somewhere so very much worse -  lack of sleep doesnt help but grab an hour when you can during the day - and if the house is a mess -so be it -as long as its not physically in a mess too the point that it is potentially detrimental to you or max.
He wont be a puppy for long - once he starts going out and getting some excercise and you begin to establish a routine you will both be fine.

Offline Kes1968

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Re: Struggling
« Reply #2 on: December 05, 2018, 12:04:12 PM »
Thanks karena, I’ve had non stop anxiety this past few days, you’re right on the button about my low self esteem,I’m trying so hard to give him a good home, he’s a smashing puppy and will be a super dog I’m sure. You’re also right about the nerves, I’m not scared of him but I think he’s picking up on my anxiety which is not good for him either. I’ve had a few concerns about him re toileting and feeding and he’s had a couple of stomach upsets. I’ll try and get some sleep today if I can. I’m just hoping it will get easier. He still hates being handled, I’m not sure how I can manage him if he’s going to be like this

Offline Kes1968

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Re: Struggling
« Reply #3 on: December 05, 2018, 12:08:24 PM »
The veterinary nurse had no problems holding him so it must be me at fault . I’ve no appetite and I’m not eating hardly anything, I’m just feeling that I’ve made the wrong decision having another dog so soon. I’m going to speak to the vet on Sunday , I think he’d be better off with someone more confident and able to handle him
« Last Edit: December 05, 2018, 12:13:19 PM by Kes1968 »

Offline Kes1968

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Re: Struggling
« Reply #4 on: December 05, 2018, 12:30:32 PM »
He’s not done a poo for 24 hours either m we’re seeing the vet at 330, I phoned them because he’s not done a poop since yesterday morning and they want to see him
« Last Edit: December 05, 2018, 01:04:52 PM by Kes1968 »

Offline Karena

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Re: Struggling
« Reply #5 on: December 05, 2018, 12:35:00 PM »
 :hug: :hug: :hug: your not at fault - vetinary nurses handle dogs day in day out theyre experts in it and the dogs know it.
If max has a stomach problem then the vet will find it and you can sort it - but please dont keep blaming yourself - its not your fault, you have done all the right things.


Offline GHOST

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Re: Struggling
« Reply #6 on: December 05, 2018, 01:24:05 PM »
K
« Last Edit: November 15, 2022, 05:15:57 PM by GHOST »

Offline Emz2014

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Re: Struggling
« Reply #7 on: December 05, 2018, 06:14:02 PM »
Just like we have to take baby steps on this grief journey, take baby steps with Max. The toilet training is hard work, but that time will pass.  As he gets older, it'll get easier. 
He just looks to you as mum and is not judging you, try and relax and he will relax too. Let him have his space but keep an eye on him, call and encourage him to you.

Have you seen the dog trainer? A good behaviourist will be able to give you a whole host of tips and advice. I dont think it is normal to handle puppies too much so don't worry about that too much. Or maybe see if there is a good book you can pick up - lots can be learnt from those too

I've not had a puppy in a very long time, but I do remember that their tummies can be sensitive (best to not switch and change, even with an adult dog if changing brand of food do it gradually), and I know young puppies shouldn't be jumping up on stuff (something to do with their bones)

Is there a relaxing hobby you can do whilst sat by his cushion/bed? Have you tried mindful colouring?  :hearts: xx
Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise. 
Hold on in there xx

Offline Kes1968

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Re: Struggling
« Reply #8 on: December 07, 2018, 05:13:24 AM »
Hi everyone
A better couple of days since I last posted, Max’s tummy upset seems to be settling and I’m sleeping in my own bed again, the first night I shut him in his crate and he howled the place down and managed to bust the door open, however, minimal collateral damage and he seems unscathed. Last night I brought him upstairs with me and put his bed on the floor. He did settle eventually and he’s now up on the bed with me for morning cuddles 🤣🐒
I’ve lost confidence in the techniques that the trainer showed me, they don’t seem to work, a friend of mine recommended Victoria Stilwell, so I’ve been looking at her videos on YouTube. My friend and I were talking yesterday about the trainer and we’re of the opinion that I was perhaps ripped off by him, there’s £500 I won’t see again. 🙄🙄.
 I’ve started using a few commands recommended by Victoria Stilwell and my own commands and I have seen a difference, puppy classes will also help once he starts going and we can take him out to mix after his jabs
. He mostly comes when I call and responds well to his name being called, which after only a couple of weeks is pretty good i think!! Vets have been amazing and they clipped his claws for me the other day as I look as if I’ve been doing rounds with Freddie Krueger 🤣 I think even the vet took pity on me 🤣
I’ve still not managed to get his collar on ( I’m going to get the vet to put it on lol 😂)
and he still hates being picked up and not just by myself but he wriggled and cried when the vet was trying to hold him, (according to the vet, German shepherd dogs can be total drama queens, I’m inclined to agree!!🤣🤣🐒💕),  but we’re finding our way gradually. Baby steps and yes I’m going to have to find a relaxing hobby, I’ll see what I fancy doing.
Thanks everyone for your support xx
« Last Edit: December 07, 2018, 06:59:34 AM by Kes1968 »

Offline Emz2014

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Re: Struggling
« Reply #9 on: December 07, 2018, 08:29:40 AM »
Great to hear things have settled a little  :hug:  it will help alot that you're back in your bed and getting a little more sleep.
Such a shame about the trainer  :embarrassed: so many different opinions and some people who just decide they know what they're talking about but don't. Ive seen Victoria's programmes, she makes alot of sense and knows what shes talking about so thats a good step!  :azn:  I picked up a book called 'how to train a superdog' by gwen Bailey and that seems pretty good, Amazon sellers often have great prices for secondhand books

Definitely worth reading up on breed traits - I have a lurcher, (and have learnt alot after we homed him lol)  He's very vocal, always whining, whistling, whinging (which is one of their traits) and he's very much a drama queen - I have to use a little battery file on his nails as he squirms and squeals if the vet attempts his nails!  :shocked:

When I had my alsatian she was a rescue, still quite young when I had her (think around a year old) she had been abused/neglected in her previous home, and she went through quite a destructive phase - chewed my banister spindles, ate 3-4 steps of carpet from the stairs (each day a bit more was gone!  :huh: )  and chewed up a cupboard and phone wire!  But once we got through that she was the most beautiful dog with such a gentle nature

Thats fab progress coming to his name  :yahoo:

What hobbies are you considering? What do you like? Xx
Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise. 
Hold on in there xx

Offline Kes1968

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Re: Struggling
« Reply #10 on: December 07, 2018, 09:21:22 AM »
Hi emz
Thanks yes it’s a journey of discovery for both of us xx I’ll have to think about hobbies, I used to love to go swimming and hopefully I’ll be able to get back to that in due course, I love a good book and I have my electronic keyboard which I’ve not had the opportunity to use recently, I’m going to have driving lessons at some point so I guess those will keep me busy as well as training Max!!
We’re going out later, I’m going to wheel max over to the hospital in Harry’s pushchair to get us out of the house for a bit and say hello to a few friends and start getting him used to people. We might even venture into Costa coffee just so he can experience different environments. Obviously he can’t get out properly yet, hence the pushchair, but I want to start the socialisation process off, so he won’t be scared so much when he can get outside. He’s still scared of the collar but I’ll just have to keep trying and if all else fails I’ll have to enlist the vets help 🤣
« Last Edit: December 07, 2018, 10:12:13 AM by Kes1968 »

Offline Kes1968

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Re: Struggling
« Reply #11 on: December 07, 2018, 12:12:51 PM »
We haven’t been able to get out yet, every time I try to pick him up to put him in the pushchair , he runs away and hides behind the sofa 😥 something we still have to work on obviously xx I’ve spoken to a local animal welfare charity and they’ve given me a number for a lady who’s experienced in this area, hopefully will be talking to her later on

Offline Karena

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Re: Struggling
« Reply #12 on: December 07, 2018, 01:03:37 PM »
the push cahir is another new experience for him - try and imagine how terrified you would be if some-one picked you up and put you in something that was a completely alien machine and moved in a way you had absolutely no experience of.He is still so young -and has plenty of time to grow and learn. I noticed the last couple of nights the american trainer guy was on tv - dont know which channel as it was just the one it landed on when i put it on - but it wasnt a paid fancy one - might have been pick -at around 5.45 - but i think he is pretty good too.

Offline Kes1968

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Re: Struggling
« Reply #13 on: December 07, 2018, 01:15:00 PM »
the push cahir is another new experience for him - try and imagine how terrified you would be if some-one picked you up and put you in something that was a completely alien machine and moved in a way you had absolutely no experience of.He is still so young -and has plenty of time to grow and learn. I noticed the last couple of nights the american trainer guy was on tv - dont know which channel as it was just the one it landed on when i put it on - but it wasnt a paid fancy one - might have been pick -at around 5.45 - but i think he is pretty good too.
Ah yes Cesar Milan, he’s v good, and yes you’re right about the pushchair I won’t try it again, it’s only a week or so until he can go out properly. At least I’ve been in touch with the animal rescue people, if I do encounter serious problems I know I can ask them for help. I’ll just go very gentle with him xx, although I’ve been that way all along, I don’t want to push him because I’m scared it will just make him scared and reactive
« Last Edit: December 07, 2018, 05:44:25 PM by Kes1968 »

Offline Kes1968

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Re: Struggling
« Reply #14 on: December 07, 2018, 07:28:58 PM »
I’ve got a lady coming over tomorrow who’s hopefully going to help me with Max
« Last Edit: December 07, 2018, 09:15:01 PM by Kes1968 »