Author Topic: How do you cope with the loneliness?  (Read 2868 times)

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Offline Fleur

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How do you cope with the loneliness?
« on: October 03, 2017, 09:54:59 PM »
My husband died suddenly and unexpectedly 8 months ago and life has been a real struggle since then, the thing I struggle with most is the loneliness. I have tried to join in with local things but have never been good at joining groups, I have also tried to do some voluntary work. I find I lack concentration and commitment, I know it's early days. If anyone has any tips I would like to hear about them. Thank you.
This too shall pass.

Offline Emz2014

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Re: How do you cope with the loneliness?
« Reply #1 on: October 03, 2017, 10:34:18 PM »
I found online courses have been good. Future learn have some great courses, supplied by universities for free.  (launched by open university)  can help regain an interest, spend some time and learn something new, and includes some interaction with other students (if wanted)
You can also search 'MOOC' (massive open online courses) and find some other suppliers, if that's something that interests you
Will have a think for some other ideas too  xx
Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise. 
Hold on in there xx

Offline Fleur

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Re: How do you cope with the loneliness?
« Reply #2 on: October 04, 2017, 07:29:47 AM »
Thank you Emz, I'll look those things up.
This too shall pass.

Offline Karena

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Re: How do you cope with the loneliness?
« Reply #3 on: October 04, 2017, 07:27:00 PM »
I can endorse that as an idea,I picked a course I thought might be interesting,then picked a few more I thought they were random at first,went from ecology,t art in medicine to sub Saharan Africa the short story writing and journalism,then digital marketing and suddenly found a direction.I can't go off to Africa and help on the ground,but currently using the writing and graphics skills I have to support a school gardens project from here.But even if you don't find a direction as such,They are short courses and don't require more than a couple of hours a week unless you want to make them do by going off and researching. Other students come from all over the world,you communicate by comments online,so no joining anything,but you find different kinds of friends with common interests . its very civilised even where people dont have the same solutions or opinions no trolling allowed.
I think for me,recognising I can use my brain,that I have something valuable to say and finding others with my interests,has given me back confidence.I also tried joining stuff locally but found the cliques well and truly ingrained but also nothing I was interested enough to care about not going back,and nothing in common with the people here.( ivhad to move when I lost my husband)

Offline Fleur

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Re: How do you cope with the loneliness?
« Reply #4 on: October 04, 2017, 07:48:10 PM »
I started one! I was surprised at how many there were to choose from and I may well do some more after I've completed this one.
Thank you both for your encouragement and support.
This too shall pass.

Offline Emz2014

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Re: How do you cope with the loneliness?
« Reply #5 on: October 04, 2017, 08:41:19 PM »
So glad its helped :-)  let us know how you get on :-)  :hearts: xx
Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise. 
Hold on in there xx

Offline Karena

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Re: How do you cope with the loneliness?
« Reply #6 on: October 05, 2017, 11:43:17 AM »
thats really good news,  :hug: keep us up to date on it in everyday chat, we need more chat -  I,m starting a new one next week  on global water supplies.

Offline Sweena

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Re: How do you cope with the loneliness?
« Reply #7 on: October 07, 2017, 10:32:15 AM »
Hello Fluer

I lost my husband suddenly too but 4 years and 3 months ago. I still feel lost. So lost in grief that I feel my life has ended. I have no interest in anything and 90% of the time feel suffocated and hard to breathe. I am so lonely 😭. I am actually physically paining.

I have read this and would like to ask did any courses help? What did you choose to do? Do you think I can try?

Offline Fleur

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Re: How do you cope with the loneliness?
« Reply #8 on: October 07, 2017, 06:26:45 PM »
Hi Sweena, I do think you could try. I am doing one about the human circulatory system because I am going through some cardiac health issues at the moment and I thought it would help me to understand what the medics are telling me. I'm still struggling with concentration sometimes and I'm not really academically inclined but whatever I learn won't be wasted and it has given me a sense of achievement that I didn't have before which has been a boost for me.
Read the second post in this thread for some suggestions.
I hope you'll let us know how you get on.
This too shall pass.

Offline Emz2014

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Re: How do you cope with the loneliness?
« Reply #9 on: October 08, 2017, 08:41:02 AM »
I think it would be great to try Sweena.  They are free courses, so there is nothing to lose. :-)

Do you have any hobbies?  What have you been interested in before?  The great part of the internet is it's such a good tool to connect with others.  Can also be a first step in getting to know people and feel part of a group (which in many cases can then lead to friendships away from the internet.  Here we organise a weekend meet each year and members come from all over and we have a lovely weekend, with some smaller meets happening in various locations through the year. Through these meets I have gained friends)

Do you like making things?  I have seen several initiatives where people make things for a charity or a need - I remember recently seeing that people knit jumpers for rescued battery hens, I thought that was fab, just a shame I can't knit lol!  Something like that, for people who like making things, can be rewarding, as not only doing something but also contributing to a bigger cause with others xx
Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise. 
Hold on in there xx