Author Topic: Is this what it is to not have accepted loss?  (Read 1910 times)

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Offline Kate3027

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Is this what it is to not have accepted loss?
« on: November 18, 2017, 10:34:17 PM »


My wonderful daddy died mid-September. It was a long time coming and I was able to say goodbye. Since his death and the funeral I have memories now more vivid than before. I can replay them in my mind like a film. I look at photographs and they are so real it's as if he could just turn his head, look at me and smile. Sometimes I look out of the window and I can almost see him there, standing with his hands in the pockets of the fleece he would be wearing at this time of year, pulling the face he always pulled when standing in his wonderful garden and observing it all. I have a clear vision of him sat in his chair, foot crossed over his knee, holding the newspapers crossword in his right hand and his pen in his left, cocking his head slightly with the special look he always had on his face when he was thinking the answer over. I almost feel as though he's in the next room, he leaves just before I walk in so I miss him by a few seconds. My mum came to stay the other week and as she sat down to dinner I looked at her and I could almost see him standing there behind her in his blue shirt with his hands resting on her shoulders. I have vivid dreams where we are together, we both know he's died, and I say "not many people get a second chance to say something" and he looks at me and we embrace and in the end I don't say anything at all, there are no words left to say, we just hold each other the way we did before he died. But then I wake up and think it such a cruel trick, I would sooner not have dreamed at all it is so bittersweet.

I just had to write this down, to say it somewhere. Thank you for listening.

Offline Emz2014

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Re: Is this what it is to not have accepted loss?
« Reply #1 on: November 19, 2017, 06:56:51 PM »
Sounds very much like a normal stage of the grief rollercoaster.  There are many phases of grief, and they dont all happen in a neat order - its different for everyone and some phases we may visit more than once.
The grief journey takes time, and talking helps.  :hearts: xx
Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise. 
Hold on in there xx

Offline Karena

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Re: Is this what it is to not have accepted loss?
« Reply #2 on: November 22, 2017, 12:37:25 PM »
it sounds as though your subconscious is prompting you through dreams,that maybe you worry things wernt said,but the dream is telling you to recognise that you dont need too because some things you just know -he knew you loved him.Also when you see him, even though you know he isnt there,again the positive message is that he will always be with you in some way. :hug: