There is no wrong or right way to feel,as I mentioned in your previous post its a shocking life event and people do react in different way.Are there other family members you can talk too.Often talking about him as a person you had,his personality,little quirks,things he did ,sharing memory's which will make you cry together but sometimes laugh together too,helps.If not you can always write about him on here.Other than the journey you face to get to the funeral,they are often something that is worse in anticipation than in reality.Do you have someone you can stay with overnight there so you don't have to face that journey home afterwards,or is your bf going with you.