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Bereavement Support Posts => Please Post In This Bereavement Support Posting Room => Topic started by: sadboy on October 10, 2018, 08:31:10 PM

Title: Most annoying things people can say
Post by: sadboy on October 10, 2018, 08:31:10 PM
I want to make a list of the worst/most annoying things people can say when you've just lost someone - here are mine:

"stay strong"
"keep your chin up mate"
"Life goes on"
"It comes to us all in the end"
"how's your mum doing?" (Ask her yourself!)

Title: Re: Most annoying things people can say
Post by: Staying Afloat on October 11, 2018, 10:07:30 PM
Are you feeling better now? Or are you getting over it now?

Title: Re: Most annoying things people can say
Post by: Karena on October 12, 2018, 11:29:56 AM
when it an older person - "he/she had a good innings."
and in all cases "they are in a better place." -

but one thing with that last one is, i have found that perhaps we take stock about what that really means and whether you end up believe -ing in that "better place" or not, it can make you stop and  look at  this place with newer eyes, - and in  looking at the way nature works, and just being part of that, rather than constantly trying to meet a human/social standard of living and grieving, you can often find a very strong crutch that can help you with this journey.
Title: Re: Most annoying things people can say
Post by: Staying Afloat on October 12, 2018, 01:34:10 PM
I think what's worse than people trotting out well meaning but annoying cliches is when they they nothing at all to you. They know you've lost someone, but can't even say "I'm about your loss", but act as if nothing has happened, when your whole world has shattered :(.
Title: Re: Most annoying things people can say
Post by: The Laird Of Galloway, Scotland on October 12, 2018, 05:27:19 PM
I have heard most of those but this one was a little different and how i am not in prison for punching them is a miracle (if it happened when i was younger i would have punch her) I was in my doctors waiting room when this horrible woman came in and sat opposite me and she said " Was it your wife who snuffed it?" no kidding and how do you answer that? tis a good job i am a big softy nowadays but not a nice thing to hear.
Title: Re: Most annoying things people can say
Post by: Karena on October 15, 2018, 11:24:17 AM
staying afloat i agree - people crossing the street so they can pretend they havnt seen you is awful - i understand - they do it because they have no idea what to say to you but it doesnt help you when they make you feel like a pariah at the time you need support.
brian - that woman obviousely wasnt blessed with any kind of sensativity. :hug: