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General Discussion / Re: Rory's Birthday
« Last post by Kes1968 on July 18, 2018, 09:59:25 PM »
Aww thatís lovely, happy birthday Rory!! Xx so sweet!!
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Please Post In This Bereavement Support Posting Room / Re: Feeling a bit low
« Last post by Kes1968 on July 18, 2018, 09:57:21 PM »
Thanks a Emz, Iíve been back to work today and it was lovely to see everyone, feel a bit better today
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My name is grant and im really not one for expressing emotion. But feel i have to say my storey incase i am going mad. I apologise for my bad spelling.

My father and mother through more bad times than good have been married for 32years. Last few weeks they split up and not on the best of terms. Both of them have been upset by the whole experience. My dad was so awkard and sometimes a bully towards my mother. As i got older i become more diatant to him. However of all the sibblings i feel he was proud of me most in his own way which made it even worst in a way as he never new really how to show it. I would always struggle with conversation or hed say something inapropriate and i couldnt be bothered with it. When he split with mum i refused to see him. He was mean to my mother who is a saint in her own right and he was so silly he threw her away just from spite. Im guessing dad took more meds than he was suppose to as he was found dead yeaterday in the front garden. Seems so pointless and undignified. He never learned how to text didnt own a phone. He would have been alone and only guess scared. To die at night in your front garden and not to be found until the next day is no way to go no matter our differences. He had taken the bins out and been shopping, drs and had the TV guide laid out for his evening viewings. Which makes me feel it was accidental.

The strange part that has hite hard is im sure my father visited me when i was asleep to say goodbye.
I was on holiday with my son and partner. That night i was alseep and had one of them dreams where u wake up and takes a few seconds to realise if you are awake or alseep. When you are a child and you dream you are in bed and a spide runs accross you. Your wake with a flash jump out and put the lights on, search ur bed only to realise you had been dreaming the entire time.
Last night i was alseep and i dreamed my partner was alseep next to me face to face as we often did. I could picture her so well it was like being awake. Then (this is the mad bit) i dreamed a black cloak floated over her like a sheet in the wind. It landed on her face and body and shrunk. Her features of the face were hers but covered by a tight black 'mask'. I woke with a stir mumbling at my awake gf to take off her mask it wasnt nice..? In the pitch black she got out of bed for an early hour wee. As she walked away all i could see was a black silloutte of my partner. Nothing to normally trigger any emotion other than time to go back to sleep. But it wasnt her. It was he body her shape physically but the black ora surrounding wasnt hers as of something was mummyfying her. It was scarey amd i watched as it went out the bedroom door with her off to the toilet. I went back to sleep adgitated. The next morning it bothered me still playing on my mind. My partner made jokes of it how i told her to take her black mask off and so on. At which point i was still alseep. I didnt tell her once i had woken i still sensed it around her i jist didnt say anything as im not a boy scared of the boggyman. But it bothered me. Durring the afternoon i received a call from a broken hearted mother who said my fatger had been found dead. Since that call i cant help but feel that it was my dad comming to see me and say bye one last time. I choke as i write this, not normally me but it was so real and unusual. I can not help but feel like death let dad see me for one last moment before going.
Even if i sound mad it is a truth i will always hold dear and believe whole heartidly.
He was my father no matter what and i am going to miss him dearly.





 
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Please Post In This Bereavement Support Posting Room / Re: Feeling a bit low
« Last post by Emz2014 on July 18, 2018, 07:37:20 AM »
Never need to apologise,  it's a rollercoaster journey  :hug: xx
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General Discussion / Re: Rory's Birthday
« Last post by Emz2014 on July 18, 2018, 07:35:23 AM »
Awww love it!
Happy birthday Rory  :hearts: xx
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General Discussion / Rory's Birthday
« Last post by The Laird Of Galloway, Scotland on July 17, 2018, 10:09:00 PM »
Hi,
Well Wee Rory has turned 1yr old on Saturday so thought i would take a picture of him wearing his birthday hat.....he had other ideas so gave up in the end and did a bit of photo editing :rolleyes: so here's him with his new haircut....he is one strange little fella....at this moment he is doing his best Claudius impression (twitching) trying to chew his name tag on his collar :rofl: :rofl:  he is such a daft dog but very cute with it  :grin:
Oh well they say ya can't have beauty and brains  :rolleyes:  I must be Einstein then!  :rofl:
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Please Post In This Bereavement Support Posting Room / Re: Feeling a bit low
« Last post by Kes1968 on July 17, 2018, 02:38:22 PM »
Iíve made a small inroad into the spare bedroom! I can actually get in there now!
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Please Post In This Bereavement Support Posting Room / Re: Feeling a bit low
« Last post by Kes1968 on July 17, 2018, 02:34:37 PM »
Have just heard as well that my friend canít look after my pooch in August so I wonít be going away now, a bit disappointed but canít be helped, although itís probably just as well, Iíd only have worried about him the whole time
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Please Post In This Bereavement Support Posting Room / Re: Feeling a bit low
« Last post by Kes1968 on July 17, 2018, 01:01:09 PM »
 :rainbow:had another cry this morning when the charity guys refused to take the cabinet, I felt guilty for not bringing it indoors but I just donít have the room and itís such a shame having to keep it outside although it is covered, Iíve now put it for sale in a few of my Facebook for sale groups, I can put it in the shed when thatís been installed but thatís not happening until next Monday. I didnít cry in front of the men but later on after theyíd left. They wouldnít take the pine kitchen chair either, theyíre so fussy!!  :angry: so Iíve posted that as well. Iíve not got any further with the spare bedroom but I know Iíll have to get on with it at some point !! My new floor lamp has arrived and Iíve installed it and it looks v nice 👍 Harryís had his first meal and is lying down with me in the lounge, sorry to be down again, Iím sure Iíll get my act together soon
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Please Post In This Bereavement Support Posting Room / Re: Feeling a bit low
« Last post by Kes1968 on July 17, 2018, 08:16:50 AM »
Yeay, sounds good :-)  My birds like the suet pellets from wilko's,  I buy a big box and it works out ok cost wise :-)

Feel like I'm trekking this morn - was on the 7:24 train, traveling to a team mtg today xx

Oh my I donít miss my morning bus commute, so much easier now I can just walk up the hill and across the road to work,speaking of which, Iím  back tomorrow from my annual leave! Iíve got the charity shop people coming today for their bits and pieces, Iím going to gather a couple of bags worth of clothes together for them as well and try to make a start on clearing the spare bedroom, putting stuff in the loft etc. Thanks for the tip re Wilcoís, weíve got one in Truro so Iíll have a gander in there 😀👍
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