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 :hug:
Its  been 25 years since Dad died and 18 months since Mum , for me grief has been different varied and ongoing, both times I made the mistake of letting people tell me how I should or shouldnt feel,  grief does not hit you then go, it comes in waves, a thought, a sight  an occasion anything can trigger a wave, that's okay, there are good days bad days, you find comfort in things, I keep photos close play the music they liked, it's not for everyone, I miss them both everyday, at times it hurts unbearably, but I just keep feeling what I need to feel and at times the memories are so strong and I can laugh,
Sending you all my love and hugs, take comfort in what you can, it's okay to acutely feel their loss, this forum has been a big help to me
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Please Post In This Bereavement Support Posting Room / Re: Christmas
« Last post by Twinkle on December 27, 2018, 12:08:32 PM »
Twinkle, nobody knows really how you feel, we are all individuals. Really determined not to have another v bad day, went in the garden and took the saw to a tree which I had wanted to get rid of for some time. A bit drastic I know, but it certainly took my mind off things.  I thought what would my mother do in my circumstances and I could hear her saying well, get on with it then, so I did. She was very practical, down to earth, typical Londoner. I have three rings of hers, one of which cost me more to have it repaired than what it was worth but it goes everywhere with me, a little bit of her. Time to spoil yourself Twinkle, chocs, TV, book, drink?

Thank you, I did not have as bad a day either, took down the few decorations I had put around  put cards in bin, do not feel under so much pressure now, am aware my other 3 siblings are together still, but that's okay, mum and dad would have expected that, I had a ring made with some of mums ashes, it is a huge comfort, for Dad I just have to have the memories, yes spoiling  myself a little  TV books chocolate
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Please Post In This Bereavement Support Posting Room / Re: its been 4 years
« Last post by Emz2014 on December 26, 2018, 09:29:09 PM »
Sending you a welcome hug bonzodog  :hug: xx
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Please Post In This Bereavement Support Posting Room / Re: Christmas
« Last post by Emz2014 on December 26, 2018, 09:28:10 PM »
Im also planning to sort through my study over the break, lots to sort out and tidy.  Am enjoying not being at work.

I too took the Christmas decorations down today and dismantled the wreath I made. I should be able to use the wreath base again next year. I enjoyed the food, films and had some lovely prezzies but just not feeling festive this year
Hugs to all  :hug: xx
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Please Post In This Bereavement Support Posting Room / Re: Christmas
« Last post by Munstermum on December 26, 2018, 08:20:54 PM »
I've been a right Grinch and taken down my Christmas tree, the few decorations I put up and all the Christmas cards in the bin! Sounds harsh but I feel I've done my Christmas bit and it's finished now.  My sister in law (although she is lovely) is being a pain and chasing me to attend her "Family Christmas Get Together" - she set up a Facebook event for it. She doesn't seem to understand that I just can't sit there watching them all with their loving partners enjoying everything and I am alone now - so I'm not going, they wouldn't miss me anyway and I can do what I like now, she just thinks we are The Waltons! I did have a nice day yesterday at my brother in law's, it was relaxed and low key which was just what I needed, not enforced jollity pretending everything is wonderful.
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Please Post In This Bereavement Support Posting Room / Re: its been 4 years
« Last post by Munstermum on December 26, 2018, 08:13:11 PM »
Hi, I'm fairly new on this forum too. Sadly I lost my husband on 3rd October this year, so it's still a bit raw and confusing. I have good friends and family but Christmas is hard, they all mean well, but I just don't want to sit and watch them all with their partners being all cosy and loving, sorry if that makes me sound mean. I just want to sit in my jammies with my two dogs, drink gin and watch EastEnders, they are a right miserable bunch as well.  Take care and be good to yourself (what do I know, should take my own advice). Lovely supportive people on here, not many posts sometimes, but good advice xxx
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Please Post In This Bereavement Support Posting Room / its been 4 years
« Last post by bonzodog on December 26, 2018, 06:53:27 PM »
hello its been 4 years and 2 months tomorrow,my beautiful kay died on the 27th oct 2014i had no idea grief would be so horrible, and what it does to you,ive been on way up since then ,bereavement site ,I fancied a change anyway I thought id say hello to all ,there is so much to say ,I need to think about what im going to say before I post,my name is Nicholas and im 64 on the 29th,kay was a mere 56,she died of pneumonia /sepsis ,due to oesophagus cancer .
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Introduce Yourself To Us All / Re: Introducing myself
« Last post by Kes1968 on December 26, 2018, 06:17:22 PM »
hi all.
part of me wants to go to the crematorium where my parent's ashes were scattered as they have some beautiful gardens there, but it's difficult to get to as I don't drive and I don't want to bother any of my friends. I might just go for a walk somewhere, im not sure, its not the anniversary of their deaths just my first Christmas without them. Hope everyone's ok, this time is tough xxx
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Please Post In This Bereavement Support Posting Room / Re: live chat
« Last post by Kes1968 on December 26, 2018, 05:12:41 PM »
does anyone fancy chatting ?
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Please Post In This Bereavement Support Posting Room / Re: Christmas
« Last post by Kes1968 on December 26, 2018, 05:12:03 PM »
I've also got my spare room to clear out and get nice and organised, got loads of stuff in there, will probably take me the best part of a week! I haven't touched it since I moved in in June!
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