Author Topic: families....!  (Read 210 times)

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Offline KC

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« on: May 17, 2018, 08:54:51 PM »
the subject of what do with my hubby's ashes came up in conversation this week. 2 children(biological ones) want to inter them in the city cemetery as he was a "local lad". The other (adopted) says as long as I know what to do when you leave this mortal coil, do what you feel is right as that's fine.
I had thought about taking them to italy to scatter as we holidayed every year there 2 or 3 times but emotionally that is too far away and i would not cope with not being able to visit when i wanted.
I know he would really like to be with his Grandad , I never knew him as he passed away long before I met my husband... but curiously we share the same birthday.
The problem is that his sister says "no" due to a falling out they had some time ago and although their parents are still alive they lack capacity and she has been given power of attorney so has the final word so to speak.

My brother who is the ultimate source of wisdom says... .don't worry sis, it's all about you, what's right for you and when it's right, stop trying to please everyone or anyone for that matter, there is no timescale on this and he was YOUR husband.

guess he's right ..( hate to admit that..he's younger than me!!)

so... i have decided to keep him exactly where he is for the time being... at home....with me ...which is where he should be anyway..

why do families make things difficult?

apologies for the rant just need to get this off my chest so to speak.

Offline Karena

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Re: families....!
« Reply #1 on: May 18, 2018, 11:31:24 AM »
 :hug: had the same thing last year.When my husband died I asked his son to collect and keep the ashes, i was mid house move and eveything was up in the air plus i was a wreck, and so he did but last year his children decided they would like to scatter them - to cut a long story short -somewhere that had meaning to them but little to me - so we agreed to split them - i have half, some are in the place and the girls have small amounts made into jewellery something i may do with some of my half in the future.

Your brother is right - there is no need to decide now no need to act now, you will know if the time is ever  right to change where he is and that is up to you and if where he is now is where he stays then that is fine too.

Offline DereksMissus

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Re: families....!
« Reply #2 on: June 11, 2018, 12:19:00 PM »
Families...tell me about it!
I am going to keep my husband with me, intact on the mantlepiece (when I get one) next to the cat...if I couldn't scatter my 18yr old cat I've no chance of parting with my beloved husband who as you say should be at home with me. You do what's right for you xxx