Author Topic: Lost My Mum Very Suddenly  (Read 207 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline Laura

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 1
  • Karma: +0/-0
Lost My Mum Very Suddenly
« on: August 18, 2018, 03:40:03 PM »
Good Afternoon all,

I'll start off with a bit about me, I'm Laura 38, originally from Glasgow, but now live near Liverpool.  I've got 4 children & an amazing partner.

Anyway, my brother rang me on the 2nd of August & told me the worst possible news ever, my beautiful mother had suddenly passed away at home aged just 61.  She was absolutely fine on the Thursday morning, got my brother up for work, but 3 hours later she was dead. 

My mum was a lollipop lady so was off work due to the summer holidays, Thursday was also my dads day off, he found her in the livingroom around 10am.  Called the paramedics & was advised to start CPR until the paramedics arrived.  They worked for around half an hour on my mum, but it just wasn't too be. 

I think I'm still in complete shock.  I feel very empty, and sad all the time.  Like a part of me is missing, she is always on the forefront of my mind, I can't stop thinking of her.  I travelled upto Glasgow on the Friday with my eldest son, and started planning the funeral.  I've never been in a funeral parlour in my life!  Let alone talk to a humanist about my mum.  The funeral was the 10th August, and we travelled back home to England with my dad & brother.  They wanted to come & stay for a few days before going back to work.

I feel like I need to see a doctor to talk, I have so many questions.  The autopsy showed she died of coronary artery something, I can't remember the something & don't want to ask my dad at the moment. 

I was lucky to speak to my mum on the Wednesday afternoon, I was due to get an operation on the 8th August.  My parents were going to travel down the day after to help with my recovery & look after the children for me.  Needless to say I cancelled the operation as soon as my brother had phoned me.

I'm not really sure what I'm looking for by joining this forum, my head is mashed.

Thank you for taking the time to read.

Offline Emz2014

  • Administrator
  • VIP Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1633
  • Karma: +109/-0
Re: Lost My Mum Very Suddenly
« Reply #1 on: August 18, 2018, 11:27:31 PM »
Sending you a welcome hug  :hug:
The forum really helped me to not feel alone, there was always someone who understood what I was going through, and at the times I thought I was losing my mind, helped me realise I was ok and it would get easier
Sometimes just writing out what is in our head helps xx
Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise. 
Hold on in there xx

Offline Kes1968

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 184
  • Karma: +2/-1
Re: Lost My Mum Very Suddenly
« Reply #2 on: August 19, 2018, 08:37:16 PM »
Hi Laura, Iím so sorry to hear what happened to your mum and you and your family, itís so tough, our mumís are a massive part of our lives and they do leave s huge void. I lost my mum in February this year and Iím still adjusting
I led such a sheltered life before my mum died, she  was the worrier, the lynchpin of everything, the decision maker, the bill payer, I was cushioned from everything and it was a massive shock to find myself alone. We lost my dad 14 years ago. My brothers and I arenít close and I got no help from them at all. Mind you my eldest brother has Asperger syndrome and special needs so I canít count on him anyway My middle brother was abroad when she died and although heís now back in the Uk, heís rarely in contact. Iíve since sold my mum and dadís  house where mum and I were living  and moved to a smaller one I bought ( thanks to both my parents I could do that), but itís been a very steep learning curve and Iím still trying to find my way. Just wanted to say keep visiting the forum and hopefully you will find a way to deal with this really tough time too xxxx It sounds like you and your family loved your mum very much xxx sending massive hugs xx Iím glad you have such a supportive family round you at this really difficult time
« Last Edit: August 19, 2018, 08:40:44 PM by Kes1968 »

Offline Karena

  • Administrator
  • VIP Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1633
  • Karma: +117/-0
Re: Lost My Mum Very Suddenly
« Reply #3 on: August 20, 2018, 02:00:45 PM »
Hi Laura it isnt suprising your head is mashed - i think all of us here can relate to that. The loss of my mum isnt why i found this site but i was a little older than you when my mum died -she died of cancer and it wasnt a sudden death like yours but nothing can really prepare us for it.Its like someone took the foundations out from under us and we,re left holding on to a slippery scaffolding pole and a big drop under us. It sounds like you do have support with your husband and familly and this site can become another support - perhaps you have already identified a good reason to join and a reason it helps - in saying you cant ask your dad right now.Because sometimes when we are supporting others we find it difficult to cope with our own grief and express those feelings if we are afraid it will make it more difficult for them -  so it is easier to talk about that to people not directly involved, yet who are sharing the same experiences with their own loss.

Offline rawareham

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 26
  • Karma: +1/-0
Re: Lost My Mum Very Suddenly
« Reply #4 on: September 05, 2018, 10:40:38 PM »
Hi Laura,

Im so so sorry to hear you have lost your mum. I know what you mean, two years on from losing my dad I still feel my head is mashed. He died aged 60 from a sudden brain hemorrhage, absolutely fine one day and gone the next. It's so hard to get your head round and to try to deal with the loss, I feel for you so much and am sending you my thoughts and support through this forum.

If you want to talk more I'm here. My children were what has kept me going through these dark times and I know yours will too, but the pain is so much and so unbearable that you need a space to let it out and talk. That can be here xx