Author Topic: Dont no how to cope with the loss of my dad  (Read 57 times)

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Offline Emzielou92

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Dont no how to cope with the loss of my dad
« on: October 10, 2018, 09:01:42 PM »
My dad died at the end of August after a long amd traumatic build up to his death. I dont no how to cope, I just dont know how to feel anymore, I am broken
« Last Edit: October 10, 2018, 09:04:56 PM by Emzielou92 »

Offline Emz2014

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Re: Dont no how to cope with the loss of my dad
« Reply #1 on: October 12, 2018, 07:14:21 AM »
Sending you a welcome hug  :hug:
It's a horrid scary rollercoaster journey. Be gentle with yourself,  try to think day to day at the moment. This pain will ease. I lost my dad 5 years ago and remember not knowing how I was going to cope at the beginning  :hearts:

Keep talking, it does help xx
Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise. 
Hold on in there xx

Offline Emzielou92

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Re: Dont no how to cope with the loss of my dad
« Reply #2 on: October 12, 2018, 03:38:28 PM »
 I just dont no what to do. It just hits me like a punch in the gut, I miss him so much it hurts. It just seens to be getting harder each day.

Offline Staying Afloat

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Re: Dont no how to cope with the loss of my dad
« Reply #3 on: October 13, 2018, 09:56:34 PM »
I lost my mum in the middle of July and I feel the same way. It's really hard to cope with the pain of missing them so much. The only thing that helps me at the moment is keeping busy and being with other family who cared about my mum. Do you have anyone you can talk to?

Offline Emzielou92

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Re: Dont no how to cope with the loss of my dad
« Reply #4 on: October 13, 2018, 09:59:47 PM »
I dont really have anyone to talk too.

I feel like my whole world is falling apart and I cant stop it.


I didnt feel so bad initially, but im finding it harder each and everyday

Offline Karena

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Re: Dont no how to cope with the loss of my dad
« Reply #5 on: October 15, 2018, 11:16:05 AM »
 :hug: that is often the case as the initial shock wears off - it is a roller coaster journey and we keep slogging up a steep slope but are not prepared for the thing to go back down again.Over time the slopes up and down are less steep.meanwhile keep talking here - because even just writing down what you are feeling can help make sense of it,and even though we are strangers dealing with grief is something we all have in common on this site.

Offline Emzielou92

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Re: Dont no how to cope with the loss of my dad
« Reply #6 on: October 15, 2018, 11:21:11 AM »
Thank you. It just seems to hit me at the most random times.
I feel guilty and utterly heartbroken

Offline Karena

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Re: Dont no how to cope with the loss of my dad
« Reply #7 on: October 15, 2018, 11:43:53 AM »
feeling guilty is part of grief - there are always those what ifs - what if i had said or done something differently - often if you turn them on their head you find the alternative would also have left you feeling guilty and the outcome the same  - my husband said he wanted to go home - i called an ambulance - and so he never got to go home again - it took some-one here to say it, but if i had taken him home i would  still always feel guilty through not knowing whether he could have been saved or not - all of us do what we think is best at the time, none of us have crystal balls so cannot forsee the outcome - and none of us took the course we did with mal intent.  :hug:

The only way to cope really is to have patience with yourself  and be kind too yourself - forgive yourself for the tearful outbursts and accept that this is normal,dont feel guilty when you laugh or smile it doesnt mean you have forgoten them.If grief was a physical injury you wouldnt expect to get up and run a marathon but accept that there will be a long process ahead before you can run at all -and some-times in that process you might fall over - you might get mad at yourself and others,you might not be able to see the starting line let alone the finish line and you may always  have a scar or a limp or an ache where the injury was - just because there are no plastercasts it doesnt mean grief isnt as bad or worse than that physical injury, and yet we ourselves, and sometimes society aound us, somehow expects us to just get up and carry on as normal. :hug: