Author Topic: Re different person  (Read 20 times)

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Offline Changed

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Re different person
« on: December 05, 2018, 09:39:17 PM »
Hi there
My husband died 5 weeks ago today following about 7 weeks of feeling ill and a collapse 3.5 weeks before he died when we were told he had Acute Myeloid Leukaemia and there was no hope. There followed some desperate days in hospital, at home and then hospice.

I used Changed as my name because I no longer feel the same person.  We met and married in our teens and were married 53 years. I now realise that I am not who I thought I was and that I only felt quite strong before because of my husband and now Iím a mess.

Offline Emz2014

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Re: Re different person
« Reply #1 on: December 05, 2018, 09:51:26 PM »
Sending you a welcome hug  :hug:

Bereavement and the grief journey most certainly changes us, I know I'm different since my losses. Its a rollercoaster journey, but you're not alone here xx
Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise. 
Hold on in there xx

Offline Changed

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Re: Re different person
« Reply #2 on: December 07, 2018, 09:43:30 PM »
Thank you for your reply.

Offline Sandra61

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Re: Re different person
« Reply #3 on: December 09, 2018, 10:49:30 PM »
I am so sorry to hear of your loss. It must be so very hard after so many years together. I am sure you must feel terribly lost.

As Emz says, suffering a loss does change you, but it sounds like it is still very early days for you. I think losing someone close does make you feel very vulnerable and it certainly leaves you in shock. In my experience, it takes a long time to get past those feelings to any real extent. They say the first year is the hardest. Perhaps it is, but I find there are waves of days when it all seems worse than other days.

Be patient and gentle with yourself. Certainly for at least the first six months, I wouldn't expect to feel much better. Just concentrate on surviving. Remember to eat and drink, but other than that, just do whatever you need to do. In time, acceptance comes and slowly you find a way forward. Just take it a day at a time.

I expect you probably are stronger than you think, but you have just suffered the worst blow that you are ever likely to, so it may take a while before you recover any of that strength yet. In the meantime, we are all here for you to help support you.

Sending hugs...