My husband died just over 3 weeks ago of an inoperable and aggressive malignant tumour on the brain. There were no symptoms before I noticed a change in his behaviour in the second eek of February. He died 8 weeks later.
My Dad passed away on 14th January 2017.He had been ill with chest infections and copd but I never actually thought he was that ill,I thought he would be in my life forever.I found him on the sofa,he looked like he'd just fallen asleep.My world has been turned upside down,I'm heartbroken and think about him 24/7...the regrets,guilt and constantly thinking about the last 48 hours and what I could or should have done.He had been in hospital with a chest infection,was discharged and four days later died from pneumonia.The pain and sorrow is overwhelming me,I miss him phoning every day and our little chats. I'm a broken man.
I have just found this site whilst looking for somewhere I could post one of my poems as I find it cathartic to write poetry.
I am having a very bad day today hence I have written the poem below.
My Loss So Raw
A year has passed so quickly, but little seems to have changed,
I still feel so incredibly sad, although the tears don’t fall as often
because the pills dull my senses to stop me becoming deranged
obliged to face the world bravely, but memories not forgotten
The smiling eyes and wonderful smile, his kindness knew no bounds
I cannot accept he has gone for good and still wait for his return
I just need to feel him close at hand and to know he is around
The bond we shared, the love for each other, this I really yearn
Struggling to find the inner strength to carry on without my man
Although people are impressed at how well I appear to cope alone
But when that door closes, as darkness falls, there is no coping plan
The awful heartache returns, more painful than I’ve ever known.
I was once a feisty headstrong woman with strong ideas and principles
Never afraid to speak my mind and take responsibility when needed
But that person has now gone forever, I no longer feel invincible
Just sad and jaded, an invisible no one, my wishes going unheeded
I am heartbroken and really don't want to continue living without my beloved man who died suddenly yesterday of a heart attack after 18 years together. We had argued previously and I said we were over. Now I will never get the chance to tell him I never meant it and he is my life. The pain is unbearable.
Hi I lost my partner of 13 years 7 weeks ago.we were laughing and joking one minute the he was gone the next,he died of a blood clot that led to heart attack.my life feels hopeless.he was my love and my soul mate.we did everything together,I just can't stop thinking about him.
Hello, my name is Gail. My husband, to whom I had been married for over 42 years, died on 23rd November 2017. I miss him so very much. Two years ago I was told that he only had a year to live, so the extra time was a real bonus. He died, in hospital, of kidney failure. I would not wish this death on anyone. I feel so grateful that I knew him and that we had all those happy years together. I have not received any post death support from any organisation - only from my family to whom I am eternally grateful.
Hello. My name is Trevor and I lost my wife of more than 30 years just 11 weeks ago. She died after a courageous battle with cancer. I love her and miss her so much. She died here at home in her bed and it was not at all peaceful or "slipping away" as the old cliches go. Since her death, I visit her room every day, pull up a chair and talk to her just like I did before she died. Every time I do this, I cry. So, it's a little like self harming in many ways but I cannot stop. I don't want to stop. I feel there is no point in anything any more without her. Not that I think I would do anything to harm myself but everything here in the home and our plans for the future are all pointless now. The promises of support from the cancer groups has never materialised and I try and stay strong when my famiy visit. But when I am alone, it feels like I am sinking into some black hole. I am hoping that Bereavement UK might be a link back to the world.
So many of the messages reflect the utter hopelessness that I feel. We had been together for fifty years when my husband died. We had been living in the depths of the country in Brittany since our retirement and did everything together. We were never bored although we lived a very simple life. We were enough for each other. Now I feel hollow and drag myself through each day. I don't think the pain will ever go away
Hi my name is Sam, just under 2months ago my sister gave birth to a beautiful little girl called Fraya-Mae weighing 2lb born at 26wks.... I was my sisters birthing partner, my beautiful baby niece was born sleeping and even though I got to hold her and tell her I loved her more than anything she would never hear it. It’s very hard to come to terms with something so tragic but I know my baby Fraya-mae is watching me from up above. This is for you baby girl aunty sam loves you so so much may you rest in peace ?
My name is chelsea am 27 years old I lost my mam on July 23rd this year.I am really struggling to cope and I have 2 young girls aged 9&5 years old they to were close my my mam they have been absolutely amazing handling it and they keep me going. I am currently doing a bereavement course and am just wondering if any one else has or is going through the same or another brevevment xx thanks xx
My dear brother Norm, so courageous after being told you only had 6 months left, how do you even deal with that? My brother was like my other twin we were very much alike and I miss him so much, it's only been 16 months but it feels like yesterday, people don't really talk about him anymore or even ask me how I'm feeling, why not? I always tell him out loud that I love him and tell him to stay with us always until we all meet again one day. A great comforting site thank you I'm glad I found it.
How do you handle a situation when your partner's siblings feel this way to you by sending this message? My partner's name is Marc. I told them I need time to go through my partner's personal folders before I can give whatever they want. The folders are kept in the loft where I have not found courage to enter on my own and look through them, less I just break down just looking through.
i lost my husband 2 months ago and I just can't pull myself together,I'm 46 and was my husbands full time carer,this thing called grieving is completely overwhelming me
My son and i lost his wonderful dad and my true soulmate Simon on the 19th of July 2017 .
His death was sudden and unexpected, he suffered a massive heart attack as we were getting ready to take Finn our 11 yr old son to school .
we had no idea he had the condition that took him from us so cruelly, he was only 45 yrs old .
There are no words to describe the pain i feel, we spent 26 years by each others side and i am utterly lost.
I lost my beautiful husband on 11th June 2017.
Today just over a week after his funeral. I feel that there is no point to my existence. I'm disabled and house bound. I thought i was invisible before. Now I know I am invisible.
I'm trying to hold on, I tell myself this is just a moment in time. Things/life holds no surprises for me. Its not hard to see where this leads to.
I would like to join your group, my son committed suicide 14 weeks ago. please help me.
Hello, I lost my mum,dad, and husband all in three years. My husband was only 52.
Hi I lost my husband 3 days ago after he was involved in a collision with a coach while doing the amateur ride for the tour de Yorkshire. He had really significant chest injuries and other injuries. I'm totally heartbroken he was my soulmate and my whole life. I just can't imagine life without him, never seeing him again or for him to hold me and tell me he loves me. My life feels as though it's ended.
Pixie-i know how you feel. I lost my husband and soulmate a month ago. For a while i felt him still around but now reality is crashing in and I feel in physical and mental pain. Try to hang in and not panic.
I'm really not sure about this, a bit wary of the internet, but I lost my wife just before Christmas (33yrs), I'm not a great help-seeker, but this is brutal.
Obviously I can deal with this on my own (not). I don't need you do I? Tell me, what is there here?
I have been wary of using online or other support too. I lost my husband of 33 years last June (2016). It happened over just a few weeks.
I have learned over the last months that only people who have experienced loss can understand any of it.
I think it's worth a try- keep talking.