My dad passed away on Sunday July 10, aged 90. He was my second parent to go, so now I am alone. The link to my childhood is now gone, forever.
For the first 2 weeks - and including the funeral - I held it together quite well. Then about the third week, I just started crying uncontrollably. I started calling his name. For years he'd been in a home, in England - I'm in Ireland. I'd make a trip every few weeks to see him. I couldn't believe I wouldn't be planning any more of those trips. They were generally very boring - he didn't have much to say for the last 2-3 years - but I felt I was there. He knew I was there for him. That is what mattered.
And now that little bit of kindness is finished, over, redundant, no longer required. It is a very strange feeling, and one that I'm still coming to terms with.
I write songs and in the midst of my grieving, I wrote this. It's the story of how I felt at that time, and it is for everyone that is feeling the way I did. I would like to share it. 'The light will always shine'.
So a week and a day since dad died... My emotions are either overwhelming or numbed... I cant just give in cos my mum is 83 and needs me and my only brother is in Wourcester 3 1/2 hrs away. Its hard as it is but harder still because im not finding time to deal with my stuff and vulnerabilities in this ..I have to be there to support mum but if i dont make space in that for me ill not be able to help her and retain some scrap of my tattered sanity.. Dad was ready to go and it was better for him that he was able to.. i was with him when he went and am so pleased i was but for mum and so for me its very hard we are both glad hes not suffering anymore but a little lost. I dont feel "old enough " to do what I feel i should.. Im a child in a 53 yr olds body!
Me again, I cant get into any chat or support groups, keep saying name invalid. Can I just say on here I had an awful childhood, abusive 30yr relationship, then was with husband for 6yrs. I am tormenting myself over our relationship, questioning things and am not coping in the slightest.. Oh my god oh my god its awful..
Pixie...I'm so sorry for your loss and my heart truly goes out to you at this very sad time.
By the sound of it you are entering a username or password the database doesn't recognise so here are some suggestions.
Go into our main web page where you found this guestbook and you have three choices for the support you so need from BUK.
If you belong to Facebook you can join our group using the link from the menu on the home page and/or follow the link to our forum and register for free with a username and password of your choice, you will be made most welcome there.
Finally once again use the link to our live chatroom which evenings are best when members are about and log on with a username BUT NOT a password or you won't get in.
I do hope you come back to see this and we can then support you during the tough days ahead
My husband died the beginning of july and instead of pain easing it is getting worse. At times it is so bad I want to end it myself.. I have no support, just sit on my own missing him.
Sorry for the short reply but I think I used to much text as it would not post.
I was with my partner for 14 years and just lost her to cancer a couple of weeks ago.
I tried the chat rooms but no luck with any real chat.
If you want to chat let me know.
I lost my fiancee 3 months ago to suicide after a long battle with anxiety and paranoia from a trauma 11 years ago. We have a 3 year old daughter and I am trying to get through the days with a sense of normality for her but my sadness, fear, guilt and exhaustion are all I am left with at the end of the day. I miss him so much and it is hard to come to terms with his choice.
hi mel. I just wondered how you are getting on? I lost my fiancé to suicide 12 years ago and I thought it was the end of me tbh, but then my life got so much worse that I recently lost my mum, way too young and that was so much worse than I could ever imagine. most of the time I have no idea what I am doing with my life. anyway enough about me I just wanted you to know others feel your pain and your not alone x
I lost my wonderful husband David on the19th July last year. I/ we the family nursed David through a short but horrendous battle with oral cancer.
At the moment I don't know why I'm still here with out him and it's very hard to cope with on a daily basis. I know he is in a better place and pain free but it doesn't help. I miss him very much including the bad times xxxx
My dad who was 81 died three weeks ago, I held his hand as he passed. It wasn't tragic and he was lucky to have had a long life. I just keep reliving the final fifteen minutes when he was dying, the guilt that I never brought him home from hospital a few weeks prior to his death. He had never asked anything of me and I couldn't fulfill his wish due to hospital care packages. I miss him terribly, I can't stand the grief in my mother's eyes, life has changed. I have had nightmares each night and wake and think he still alive and then reality kicks in! I am surprised I feel this way. I thought I was level headed and accepted death as part of life!
My beautiful daughter just aged 31 passed away just over 5 months ago due to brain cancer. I really thought I was coping, but it's getting harder, I miss my Joanne so much I just don't know what to do, I can't come to terms with not ever hearing her laugh ar receiving her daily texts again, how do people cope with things like this.
To my Darling Patricia Anne,
You were a Wife in a million,why did you have to go,you are the world to me,I really love you so,someday I hope to meet you,someday I know not when,to hold your hand in a better land never to part again.
Till we meet again my darling you are always in my heart and thoughts.
Your broken hearted Hubby,
I Lost My Lovely Wonderful Wife (Gail) My Soulmate My Life, to Lung Cancer on Febuary 28th 2016 I Love You My Darling Until We Meet Again xxxxx
i am so sorry for your loss ,i know how it feels i also lost my husband to lung cancer on the 5/4/2015 18 months ago ,the pain is still realy bad ,as you know yourself ,it helps to talk to people who know how you feel,wishing you all the the peace and comfort in your life ,if you would like to talk again please feel free to contact me ,as i feel the same pain ,
my wife and soul mate died in my arms the day after returning from a wonderful holiday . the support I received from family friends and neighbours really helped me get through the first few weeks but that has pretty much stopped now at night I feel so alone (which I am) I am struggling to cope as my beloved wife did everything for me now I feel guilty and wish I had done more for her
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I'm 25 and my mum Caroline was 58 she died on the 19th or March this year. Two weeks ago my dad had an accident on his motorcycle. He's still here but is in great pain and housebound for two months. He needs me. My gran is 93 and relied on my dad for things and that has fallen to me now, I dont mind because I love my gran deeply. I went back to work after 2 weeks since my mum died and found it very difficult but tried my best to get on with it. Then this happens to my dad. I'm off work now the 4 weeks on sick but my boss tried to make me feel guilty by saying "think of your work colleagues your not being very fair to them" and "when you came back you seemed fine I don't understand"
So now I'm missing my mum. Trying to help my dad and gran and I feel terrible for being off work because I'm "not being fair to my colleagues"
The only person I need right now is my mum! But she's gone!
My wife of nearly 5 years died on 19th February. I expected to miss her, but just didn't realise how much and how much it would hurt. I am so fortunate to have such great children and grandchildren as well as excellent family, friends and work colleagues. It doesn't stop the unbearable pain though...
Dad gone 5yrs yesterday, I was cooking him scrambled egg. Can't move on , bad circumstances, I want to be with him, be out of this stupid pain. Nearly made it on Saturday. Even more frightened n alone. Sorry.
my husband recently died we had been together for 49 years. my sister said this group helped a fried of hers. I wonder if you can help me
Hi, I am a former long term unpaid carer. Failed and abused by the nhs and social services (allegedly) which resulted in loss of my family home. My mother was iconic and beautiful, yet the services decided to hold here and I could not get her back. She was held effectively hostage in a hospital when there was no need. She died in January....I lost my brother last year suddenly also. I remain homeless and no agency or other seems able or willing to help me. I am heading for the sussex street. MPs, the Government and health do not care, cannot help. Benefits are crucifying me in a way also. I have been so proactive. Now exhausted. In touch with Samaritans. A dire situation. My sympathy for all others posting regarding their bereavements.
I lost my husband Gareth on 26th July, he was my sole mate we were married 10 years and loads planned for our tenneth anniversary this year but he collapsed on 15th May and despite me doing CPR he died 3 times and suffered brain hypoxia, we had to say good bye to him 3 times, but despite everything he fought so had and pulled through but finally it was too much and he got puemonia. My husband Gar (Percy) to me was just 36 on 12th July he was my rock and sole mate, we never spent a day apart he was my evertyhing and I am so lost without him. I will forever love him and think him for our life together. Luv u Percy for always and forever xxx
I lost my dad just under 2 years ago, I was 13 and thought I needed to be brave for my brother. Although it's been nearly 2 years I keep expecting him to call one day and say that he is still here. It sounds crazy but I swear I see him all the time, but only for a second. I had a breakdown earlier this year and now I have 3 Councillors but I just feel like my mums trying to push me away on someone else because she has my stepdad and has had him for 9 years now. I just feel alone. :(