Author Topic: Hello  (Read 98 times)

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Offline Joannie85

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« on: May 13, 2019, 09:12:35 AM »
 Hi, I am new here. I lost my 39yr old husband on 11th March this year. Not entirely sure when I will start to feel normal again, still feel numb  :cray:
Joanne  💕

Offline Sandra61

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Re: Hello
« Reply #1 on: May 13, 2019, 12:31:49 PM »
I am so sorry, Joannie85. Welcome to this site. I hope you find some support here. We have all arrived here after experiencing a loss of some kind, so understand what you are going through, though losing someone at such a young age is terribly tragic. I am so very sorry.

Feeling numb is perfectly normal. You have suffered a huge shock and loss changes everything, you, your life, your future. It is huge, so will take a long time to recover from to any extent. You probably will never feel normal again, at least you will never feel like the person you were before it happened as you will never be the person you were before it happened anymore.

For the moment, talk to us, talk to anyone who can help and do whatever makes things feel any better. Little will for a long time, but try to eat and drink enough. We often forget to eat and drink after suffering a loss, but your body still needs nourishment and you will feel better if your body does. Otherwise, cry, talk, try to sleep, though you will find that almost impossible and just do whatever helps and that will be enough for now.

I found having flowers around helped a little and reminded me there are still good things in the world and walking in the park too. It is good to get out of the house and I found the park a calming place in which to think and try to process all that had happened.

Later on, you can try to put together an album of pictures, a book or jar of scraps of paper with memories on that you can use to help you relive the good times, or a memory box with special items in it that have sentimental value for you all might be things you can do that might help, but for now, I suspect eating and drinking and getting out of bed will be enough to have to try to cope with.

Sending you an understanding hug and strength, Joannie..xx  :hug: :hearts:

Offline green dragon

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Re: Hello
« Reply #2 on: May 14, 2019, 12:50:36 PM »
Sorry to read what you're going through.

Whatever you do, try not to put too much pressure on yourself at a time like this. If you have a good support system, lean on them but try not to have their well wishes and enquiries about your well being pressure you into speeding up the process. I am going through that right now, and I personally find it very difficult not to feel hurried into going back to normal whilst I can tell I'm still far from my usual self.

Offline CarolineL

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Re: Hello
« Reply #3 on: May 22, 2019, 07:30:26 PM »
I agree with green dragon, what is normal. We know that things will never be the same its just that we want them to be the same. The human condition doesn't like change and certainly not such a massive change as losing your partner. How sad it is to hear you have lost someone so young. My husband was 52, I thought that was to young, but there is never a good time. Please be kind to yourself, take care of yourself too. We are all here for the same reason and are always here to chat. Big hugs  :hearts: